My Love is All

Then there’s love. Then there’s the next level of love which has nothing to do with lust or touch or the magical draw of energy from someone else. Instead, next there’s this level of connection in which you know someone and in your mind, you cannot remember a time when you didn’t know them. Or care. Or want them, need them or regard them.
But still, there is more to this because this cannot be achieved without love, or more accurately, a certain love that comes from within.
There is this undefinable thing; this indescribable feature that people share. There is this position we share, here, under the sun. There are times when the world is nearly empty, as is our heart. And there are times when we consider the word “love” and wonder if this is real – or at least if true love is real. 

But of course, love is real. There are too many different versions of love for love to not be real. There’s love for music. There’s love for the sunrise or the sunset. There’s love for the people we know, like for example, our family or maybe a dog or a pet. There is love for art and for dancing or happily playing, like we used to when we were children. (Remember?)
There’s love for a sport or another love, which is patriotic. Love like this (to me) is special because although we have our share of hard times, I am one who stands for our National Anthem regardless of our imperfections. Yes, there are times when I hear the anthem sung so magically and sweet that as I look at our flag, my eyes begin to tear.

There is love for our jobs and our careers. There is love for our towns and our neighborhoods. Some people love beaches. Some love parks. Some love pools over the unknown murkiness of an ocean floor or a pond. And me, I love scenery. I love the ocean view. I love the mountains. I loved the view of snow-capped mountains from a Los Angeles hotel window.
I love a memory of where I sat for breakfast at an outside table in front of a high-priced hotel in Ft. Lauderdale across from the beach.
I sat with a big plate of steak and eggs, a tall glass of orange juice and across from me was an outgoing Navy ship that was built from the steel that came from the World Trade Center Twin Towers, New York City.
I felt love then. I felt pride. I felt the whispers of loved ones who perished on this day. I felt my heartbeat because indeed, I felt love.

I tell you that love exists on all platforms yet, there is so much more.
There is more to us than the way we think or feel. There is something truly magical about the way we bond or see each other or wait, dare I say it but there is something truly amazing about the way we need each other beneficially and mutually.
I don’t mind admitting that I need you. I don’t mind admitting that I need love. I need people. I need warmth and acceptance and understanding and above all, I need assurance from a hand. I need the warmth from a smile and the love from a touch, which in other words, renders me into the truest state of love which is otherwise known as vulnerability.

Love is the bravest emotion in the world because in its affect, there are no guarantees that love is returned. There are no guarantees that love will be interpreted as we intend it. There are no guarantees that love will conquer all or last forever; but in the midst of the trees and in the garden of our Eden, this is the only place where we are safe to eat from any tree. This is our haven where we are safe to share any fruit without shame or worry that perhaps – seeing that we are naked (or imperfect).

Therefore, my love is not afraid. Or, even if I am afraid or my love might seem timid to you, I can assure you that my love has been tested. Therefore, my love at its best is capable of leaving shadows on the brightest sun because my love cannot be undone (or broken).

There is love out there for me.
I know there is because there is love in here for me.
I have learned this. I see it and I know it
(because I have to).
There is this place where I have formed an image of you, which is truly untouchable and also unalterable. In this place; you are perfect, imperfections and all. And you and all of your wonderful chaos and the seasoning of your background, your past, your history, your culture and your freedom to be, think and feel as you do are all the more reasons why I have to believe that love is real. I know this because you are real.

You are not this evasive thing. You are the reason I am here. You are the reason that I have the strength to stand. You are the inspiration that keeps me going because otherwise, without you – I might have quit a long, long time ago, You are me . . .

Sure, I have love.
I have infatuations.
I have fantasies and sensations that mean the world to me.
I have a quiet place in my heart in which I dream of mornings when the rain falls and as the heavens quench the Earth, I envision my love and my need for cleansing and the need to have my soul washed and clean. So that I can rise again when the sun comes (and be clean).

I am bathed in the light. I am the sign of a rebirth that has happened consecutively, each and every day from the moment of my birth until the moment of my last breath.
I am this: ME
And more.

I am loved
By me
For me
And with me, I am able to climb any barriers or overcome any obstacles because not only do I have me, but if I choose to love in any which way possible – then I have more than me
I have you too.

Or –
At least I hope I do.

I am the heart of this world (and so are you)
But this isn’t about me (or you).
This is about love.

This is about the relevance of our reflection in the mirror and more, this is about the way we view ourselves as worthy instead of worthless.
This is about everything I have, which I lay here, without looking back to see if anyone notices.

My love is free to build or to destroy.
My love is free to build bridges (not barriers).
My love is free to build connections. Not destructions.

However, my love is free to destroy.
Free to walk away from whatever fractures my plans or wounds my future.
Free to destroy the breaks and the shames and the regrets of not being loved, or not being enough. 

My love is free to destroy the old versions of me and from this, my love is free to be reborn and rise again like a phoenix from the flames
To keep me
To be me

Eternally 
My love

2 thoughts on “My Love is All

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