We wake up and we look around.
what do we see?
I often wonder if we know what we’re looking at.
I also wonder if any of this is real?
Is most of what we see an illusion?
The world. Each other. Life and liberty. The pursuit of happiness –
What are these things?
What is any of this if not an idea or lofty concept of life, which we are taught about and hope for?
The world we live in, or better yet; the world we think we live in is only a world made up by the cosmetics in our mind.
We are all alive in this huge illusion., which we call life.
We see what we see.
We think what we think.
We feel what we feel, which is only an adaptation (or relation) to our experience. This is all an adaptation to our primary sources of influence.
And what is this?
Is any of this true?
Or better yet, let’s begin with this; what is truth?
What does truth mean to me or you?
Or, and, if neither of the two are the same and our truths are at odds; how can two things be true if they are the not same?
Does this mean there is more than one truth?
Other than an absolute or indisputable fact; what makes something absolutely true?
Which, in fairness; I know there is an argument for everything.
And to be clear, I am not talking about existentialism or anything so deep beyond a simple term.
I am only a searcher in which my questions are more like a quest
This is my journey and therefore; the search for my truth is to find my holy grail.
This is my way, my light, my hope and in my estimation; this is my pursuit of happiness.
One day at a time. For life, or longer . . .
I see people who claim their truths; and even if their truths are a lie; to them, their truths are still true.
And again, I say this is all a concept of the mind.
This is all a matter in our head: Who likes us
Who accepts us.
Who is above and who is below
Who is better and who is worse
I say these without question marks
Because there is no question.
Just a search,
No. Here’s one that’s better; who is beautiful and who is not?
This is asked as a question because I’m not always sure
Who is beautiful?
What is beautiful?
Where is beauty, if not here with us; then where can beauty be if not from inside?
Am I beautiful?
Could I be?
These are questions to me.
Am I on the right path?
Am I too weak to carry my dreams?
or to see them through . . .
Or again, is this all just another concept of the mind, which has been molded and shaped, or based on my perception and due to influences that are beyond our control, I have formed my biases and assumptions; without question or without any further investigation – which leads me to this: are we simply the sum of all we have been taught?
If this is so, then what will I add up to be?
Are we only a stream of consciousness and a daisy chain of lessons and patterns?
Are we all just followers?
Perhaps . . .
We followed what we were shown because, of course; we believed what we were shown is true.
This has to be true; because otherwise, why would we be told that everything we see and hear is true?
And by true; I mean absolutely true.
Meanwhile, I have been taught a lot of lies and therefore; I have assumed them to be truths, which is why I have learned to question my teachers – not to e insubordinate, but instead, so I can learn.
I want to learn everything possible and thus; I can question everything possible.
This includes all the social constructs. I want to question them too.
This includes fashion, the plastic versions of life, which we find splattered all across social media.
This includes art, music, and our models of education, our family structures, and our culture and the stations of personal and family government.
I want to question who is right and who is wrong, in which I have come to an understanding and awareness that I am often unsure between the two.
I only know a few absolute certainties.
I know that as sure as I stand; I can understand the abilities of pain and fear.
I know that I need to breathe, which is something beyond the fact of needing air.
I have a need to breathe freely.
I have the need to be heard and wanted.
I want to be relevant.
I want to be valued and worthy and most of all; I have the need to be right and accepted, which again; these are all equations that are based on judgments that come from the trained cosmetics in my mind.
Life is only an adaptation to our perception. This is us, trying to differentiate between real or unreal, passion or passionless and more to the point; all of us are simple creatures who are trying to find our way.
We are all looking for the best interpretation so that we can adapt comfortably to our life and yet, many of us are uncomfortable and raw.
Often, we are tired.
We try too hard.
We overworked the ideas and therefore, the misled concepts in our mind are those which lead us in too many directions.
And it’s wasteful. We can’t keep up.
Our thoughts have run too far and in too many directions.
Meanwhile, all we want is comfort.
All we want to do is to come to an understanding where we feel protected and safe.
We want to reach a level of awareness where the surface level of our mind is no longer troubled by the underlying fears that burrow beneath our subconscious riddles.
How many times have we thought ourselves into a crisis?
How many times have we imagined our dilemmas into becoming reality?
How many times have we thought ourselves sick over thinking ourselves into feeling better?
How many times have we allowed our mind to run away with assumptions?
How many times has our opinions become facts; ever-misleading us simply because we believed, “This has got to be true!”
We wake up and the day starts.
We can either face the day or retreat and hide.
Whether this is true or not; my choice is to believe that my truth is this:
I am only a small being. I am a glimpse in the vast oblivion that we call the universe.
I have little to no control over the world around me.
I have no absolute proof that tomorrow will come nor can I attest to anything but this – I have wants. I have needs.
I have hopes and dreams, desires, goals, and at some point before I close my eyes at my final rest; I don’t want to look back with regret or leave anything unturned or unloved.
I don’t want to be lost in the difference between the concepts of my truths or yours. I do not want to struggle with the final stages of whether I should decipher between insecurity and the irrational fears, which are more like chains to hold back the human spirit; to never dare or never try.
I do not want to leave anything up to the judges.
I want to breathe my last breath at peace; knowing full and well that regardless of what is true or not; the only truth I can offer is that I gave this world everything I have.
My tank will be empty and my heart will be full.
And that is all I ask for
I want to live every day of my life to its fullest and upon my end; all of this will be uncontestable because I chose to be this –