It is beyond me . . .
to think of how you know someone for so long yet
there are people we meet and in an instant,
the world changes
and it seems as if we’ve known each other
forever.
But more, it’s amazing how time passes
and people go their own ways,
only to circle back
as a means of fate:
to reconnect and to find each other again.
I swear, there’s something to this
Something deeper than say,
fate;
that is, if fate is what they say it is –
But even more,
the amazing part is how time passes
yet, time has meant nothing
and though it was so long between our last sighting,
it’s as though
not a minute has passed between us
and we can pick up exactly where you left off.
It is true.
The people in our lives
are introduced to us with a specific intention.
In some cases,
some people are only intended
to be brief or momentary
or to stir or cause a disruption
which is to initiate change.
There are people on my list of regrets
and yet without them,
I might have never learned
what it means to be motivated
or understand the mechanics of change
Some of what we learn from others is simple
Some lessons are intended to be brief
Other occasions, the lessons are more detailed
or intense.
Then again, there are people in this world
whose role is to specifically make us laugh and cry,
or sigh with relief,
or feel more than who we are and
this magic they pull –
it’s enough to make us forget who we are,
even if only for a moment.
I say this is perfect
I say this is the reason
why we know each other,
which is also the reason
why time cannot stop us
nor can the moments of our memory
fade into the distance.
We have seen each other through everything
you and me, the world,
the battles from within and the external wars
which took us to the depths yet
here we are again,
talking about our “reasons”
I have a reason.
You do too.
I say this is all cosmic.
I say that everything and everyone has a reason.
Everyone has a purpose and an intention –
and sometimes this changes.
Sometimes the lessons we learn
come to an abrupt end and often,
some of the lessons we learn might be unfortunate –
In some cases,
we forget why we connected with people at all
or we wonder if the connections we had with others
(or with anyone) was even worth it.
But this is ego.
This is the aftermath.
This is what comes
when the arguments split people apart and
resentment restricts our abilities to see that, yes,
there is good in everyone.
Sometimes our position with each other
is more important than we believe
or realize
and we intertwine our lives
and connect for reasons
which go beyond a traditional explanation.
Maybe life is more than fate.
Maybe this is all a lesson.
And maybe we learn.
Or, maybe it takes us a while.
Maybe we forget.
Maybe we remember and then suddenly,
we come to an awareness
that maybe life isn’t so complicated at all.
Maybe we don’t have to use flowery words
or stand tall with the big, grand gestures and
maybe the simplest things or the little things –
these are enough to let people know that hey,
I’m paying attention.
I believe there’s something deeper to us all.
There’s something about the way we interact
and, to me, this is more cosmic and immeasurable
This is more than a simple explanation of chemistry.
To me, this is more than the simple laws of attraction.
This can be intimate or fascinating.
This can be as simple as admiration
and the evaluation of our life,
which is what takes place as soon as we meet someone,
which is where the decision comes along that says,
“Yes. I want this person in my life – forever.”
There is something more star filled about us
and something great like the universe;
there is something huge about us as we are;
as in macrocosmic, which means endless and ongoing
like the world in its entirety,
which means that our purpose
is bigger than something so small;
as in microcosmic, which is miniaturized
or shrunk down to size,
which is us when we fail to look up
and realize that the world has more in store for us.
There is so much in this world that we’ve failed to see.
I know that there are people in our life
who seldom see how important they truly are.
I know there are people who turn inward
because they are unsure of their own beauty
and unaware of their importance.
I know this. In fact, I call this me.
I have seen the greatest people this world has to offer
yet, they’ve failed to see that, yes,
they are more than beautiful;
they are more than memorable or remarkable
and more than a simple filler
or a body in the room.
I know this is me as well,
which is not what people are supposed to say.
No one is supposed to tell you what they think or feel –
at least not unless what they think or feel is good
or positive.
In this case, a person can share
so long as its good.
But in fairness,
you’re taught to keep your cards close to the vest.
You’re told to have a “poker face.”
You should never reveal your hand.
Don’t let anyone know what you’re holding
and certainly, there is a line I read which goes,
do not cast your pearls before swine
or share what is sacred because
they might trample them under their feet
or turn against you and use this to tear you apart.
The problem is not the swine
or the wolves in sheep’s clothing –
it’s a case of misallocation
and charging everyone as guilty
. . . . just to stay safe
In a word,
this is the relevance of vulnerability.
This is the shell and the shield
and the images which we have grown in store,
to protect us from the pains of our past
or to keep us from ever being hurt again
or be vulnerable
or weak.
Truly, I say that I am this.
I am lost sometimes.
I am missing other times
and there are times when I am present and
there are times
when I have the presence of mind to know
that I am not where I am supposed to be.
There are times when I am unaware of my abilities.
There are times when I am unaware that being me,
as in me being exactly who I am –
this is perfect and, in fact,
I am capable of overcoming, surpassing,
achieving, loving, living, laughing
and learning.
I can do this on a daily basis
(if I choose to).
Sometimes, I know that we take each other for granted.
Sometimes, I know that my lack of version
affects the perception of the way I see you
or others in my life.
And to you or anyone who is listening,
let me tell you this –
please, just give me a minute.
Let me catch my breath.
See, I have been around the world a thousand times,
at least in my mind, and still, with all of my travels
it seems as if I am nowhere
but,
I have been everywhere at the same time.
I am who I am or as Henry David Thoreau said,
“What I have to do is to see,
at any rate, that I do not lend myself
to the wrong which I condemn.”
Maybe this is me too.
or maybe I’ve condemned myself
far too often.
Maybe the off-putting reflections of my mental mirror
are a solid distraction of my beauty.
And yes, I want to be beautiful.
I want to be wanted and included
or invited and desired.
But more, I want to believe this is true and
here I am again telling my secret weaknesses to the world
and I really don’t care who knows.
I don’t want to be a soldier anymore.
The armor gets too heavy
and although the shields stop the arrows
or stops anything that gets through,
the truth is the heart feels everything.
No wall can protect this. No barrier.
No building. No blockade or boundary.
So then fine . . .
Let me surrender. Let me let go.
Let me know this – that the war is over;
that we don’t have to fight anymore
or “prove” anything.
Let me know that the reason for you
is so that I can see clearly again,
like a sky with an un-hazed view.
See, this is why we have good people in our life –
to support our longevity
It’s so we can wash away the symptoms
of our own disbelief;
so that we can see again,
so that we can love again
and so we can smile
Even if the smile is only a minute in the madness of life –
then fine, I’ll take that minute . . .
I’ll take it any day of the week
I’ll take it because this lets me know
that there is something meaningful about us,
about what we do
and about the reasons why we’ve connected.
There’s a reason for you
and there’s one for me too
(to keep us grounded)
I’m sure of it
The Written Addiction 