Just a Thought, Just Because – In No Apparent Order

Head south, due west, and go . . .
I find myself on the verge of a ramble
which might only be something to me;
however, if this is for me then so be it –

Let this be me and, therefore, if you’d like
I can share this with you so that together,
I can show you a piece of my child at heart –

Here it is.
See?
I have nothing left to hide
nor a reason to deny this –
my truth.

I strip myself of this, the world

the possessions,
which I claimed not too long ago
and the worthlessness I held onto
for way too long.
It’s only pride, I say.
It’s done me no good

So, rather
let me expose this, me, myself
my truth and my heart
which is this, encapsulated
in a life which is only growing.
But her?

Her head is so strong
that she forgets to know
which way the wind blows.
But I get that.

I am, however, her admirer,
a seeker from the desert
and to me,
she is my oasis and mirage, a vision in the sun
which shadows over the world
in ways that my words cannot project.

Yet – I am here for the queen.
I am here to admire and guard,
love, honor, cherish and from this day forward,
in this life into the next;
I am neither a servant nor slave but willingly,
into her heart, I commend my spirit.

Hence, today, now, in our viewing
into our life,
I commence my journey
which begins now and therefore,
this can never end and thus
neither she nor I will ever end
because above all, we will be endless,
infinite or to those on the outside
unfathomable.

And, well?
Today is here, which means
this is just another moment of recognition.
This is a time of awareness, an awakening
that is, of course, if we choose to be awake
or woken

This is another time to recognize
that I have only begun
This is my beginning
the start and the exact time
to unravel this mystery – ongoing.

You know, come to think of it,
I used to think that I would never find this,
which sometimes, I swore it.

Although, my fear was
that I arrived at the wrong time
or that I’ve come too late,
as if to be sad or say that “hell with it!”
I’ve almost missed the show –
I find now that this is impossible;
in which case, at last, I realized
that I can’t be late at all.

Instead, I must be right on time
because fate has a plot
and nothing in my life can begin
or end without me.

So, if nothing can begin or end without me,
then it only helps to see that, in fact,
the human mind has more strength than we believe.
I can see this now,
opening up.
evolving.
leading me back in a sense,
or returning like the dawn at early day
or dusk before nightfall.

Thus . . .
I am here on the verge of morning
But wait . . .
The warmth is about to come.
Sunrise.
Dandelions are in the lawns of quiet homes
in towns we’ve never seen before.

Protected innocence
that has never been disturbed by unfortunate truths
or instead, they remain unmolested
by unwanted life.
(I like that)
As in life, rebounding, recovering
or, in a sense a stage of regenesis
As in new,
like the rebirth of seasons
which come with spring.
Like newborn fawns,
red-breasts, the robins,
or how they arise after their birth
in the new spring daylight.

The sun is up now, building,
like the moment of today.
It’s another “Go Time!” in April,
It’s another morning after the day before,
which is now – here . . .
with you at heart.

I have dreamt of things. Like you do.
No differently but yet,
not the same at all because
I am uniquely and individually
separate from anything or anyone else,
which only serves to make me this: Desirable –
or, at least, I hope to be.

I am arisen,
thinking of the iridescent colors of life,
changing as the world transforms,
from one angle to the next –
I am south . . . due west, by the gulf, of course
because to me
the words alone are pretty enough to soothe the soul –
the name coastline I mean, the flats,
the peaceful calmness which I picture this place
otherwise known as the Gulf of Mexico.

Like I said – I have dreams.
Yellow sunflowers in tall fields
and pillows of white clouds
moving north in a perfect sky,
covering us like a canopy of innocence
hovering above us on rolling hills, a dream 
– it was this, I swear it was and there we were,
standing in this field of pointless grass,
soft beneath the soles of our feet
to welcome us as children
because, of course, we were young again.
Of course we were
because what else would we be in this dream,
but reborn, young – or untouched by harm.
As in harmless,
Yes, harmless
like the smile of a child
whose only truth is wholesome and pure
Like this – us, in my dream . . .

I stood here where the grass was green
and the blue sky took over the heavens.
All of this came
without a shred of doubt.
No fears were to be conceived
by a mind which has otherwise

been deceived by the past.
And ah, the past you say?
I have one of these.
In fact, I have several
which are all tied up in litigation at the moment, 
only, the judge and jury is namely me
AKA, the executioner
of my self-fulfilled prophecy

I am the commissioner, director,
and captain of this self-propelled ride,
otherwise known as my daily life;
thus, here I am in this daily occurrence,
detached and attached in the same time. 

I am the sum of my choices,
which, at this point,
my dream is to find salvation of self
as to mean
I am here to see my redemption in plain sight
I want to find the reclamation of my soul,
and therefore – to thine own self be true
because of all truths – only truth one can set me free,
which is you, or – namely me.

Head south of here but north of the adversary –
seek and you shall find,
which I aim to do – to find.
Search, claim and create myself,
once more as if to endure so much,
to explore, to climb to the peaks
and, at last, to find myself at the scene
of my success
to look down
and know what I have overcome. 

It is true.
There are obstacles.
There are boundaries
and borders and bars and concrete kingdoms
and self-propelled obstacles
that lead us to the trip and falls
of say, our limitations
and the doubts that we can surpass them . . .

I am not bleeding, at least not anymore.
I am only screaming,
Qualifying,
because yes – I have earned my seat
and therefore,
I have earned my right to find
the reclamation of my life – it’s me.

You see?
This one is mine?
Right here.
Look, it’s right here in the palm of my hand
extended outwardly
to you

I am where I stand and yet –
there are times when we are miles away,
elsewhere hoping,
or laughing like children, playing in the grass,
standing in the palm of Mother Earth,
protected under the sun
and hopeful to feel the sunlight
as it rests down upon our faces.

I am defined.
I am discovered and if so,
then I am accomplished
once more because, above all,
I am more than who I used to believe. 

Therefore – breathe . . .
. . . inhale
exhale . . .
Now, go –
Behold, as sheep amongst wolves

And as it was said or pleaded unto Him,
so I will say this again for me –
Please stay with me.
The night has fallen and the day is almost over –
Meanwhile, all I want to here is this:
Don’t be afraid.
I am with you
every day
until the end of time –
Always.