Just a Thought, Just Because – Go Ahead . . . Be the Hero

Let’s just call this what it is,
which is life in our head
or a place in the mind which, at times,
can be unrelenting or unmerciful
at best.
Let’s call this what is it . . .
Why not?

Life in our head,
which goes on far more often than we realize
because if we think about this,
we realize that the old saying is true.
You don’t speak to anyone else in the world
more than you speak to yourself – so, be kind.
Isn’t that what they tell us?

But hey, it’s not what people say, it’s what we see and what we do
because this is what causes us to react
or change, or do nothing else but
remain the same.

So go. Get behind me Satan.
Leave me be.
or “Leave him,” said the Son of Man
to the sinister one within
Or if not, at least let me just get through lunch
this way the rest of the day can breeze by
and we can go at this again tomorrow
like at a quarter to eight
before we jump on the time clock. –
Would that be okay?
On second thought.
No . . .

Go. Get away.
Leave me be
Leave me alone so that I can take my mind elsewhere,
to which
I know I’m not alone when I say this,
but there moments when anxiety
is overwhelming
because, of course,
the direction of the mind is the same direction
that causes people to abandon ship.

Ever hear this before?
Abandon Ship!
Or, ever hear someone say,
“Somebody get me off of this thing!!”

We call this life which, at times like now,
is when the machine goes haywire
and thoughts betray our sanity
to make us otherwise crazy,
it’s easy to lose ourselves or
to be sucked away and lose
like water loses to a drain . . .
Am I right?

But ah, such is life.
There’s a lot to contend with.
And . .
It’s not the insults per se or the bullying.
It’s not the impositions either; but more,
it’s the lingering aftermaths and the conversations
that take place in our heads that do the most damage.

It’s the reliving of what went on and the re-litigating
of something that took place which can never be changed
yet here we are, trying to play God inside ourselves
and trying to recreate
the substance of our past,
to somehow become that personal messiah
or somehow find that internal eraser
that can either heal us from the sins from our past
or absolve us
and leave us clean.

However, here we are
at the same place and doing the same thing.
Here we are at that place in the mind,
living in the unchangeable past
to somehow reconcile with our emotions
or at least to find a sense of accountability;
this way we can understand
we can make sense of what happened or why.
Here we are again,
stuck in the ideas of shame, blame, fault, guilt or regret
which, of course, this is what I like to call the five fingers
of rejective thinking which, essentially,
these are the fingers that claps together
and close into a fist,
which we use to beat ourselves up with. 

We can run and try. We can deny what happened
or we can duck behind an image or personality
or play it off like hey, who cares?
But the truth is, we care.
We always care and herein lies the problem.

So, let’s just call this what it is.
Let’s just be honest for a minute.
We are who we thinketh, right?
Therefore, all we are is a product of the mind.
Think well. Be well.
Think otherwise
and then we take on the definition
of our own worst self. 

Self –
now here’s the word we have to contend with
Let’s call this what it is –
a production, a scenario and often the worst case at that –
let’s be clear. Let’s be honest
if for no other reason than it’s just us, right here,
like two kids in the sandbox

It’s just you and me. No one else is around so,
for the moment, let’s take down the wall
and be true to the one thing we so helplessly try to avoid,
which is to be vulnerable;
as in vulnerability; as in to be human;
as if to be flawed or susceptible;
as if to be frail or to be seen as emotionally handicapped
or tender to the point where, in fact,
you can easily be overcome or overtaken 
like a mark for a con or a gullible warrior
who steps right into the trap,
each and every goddamn time.

Vulnerable; as in to be the fool,
to be the one who was taken advantage of,
to be the stigma of idiotic shame or tender
as in at least some regard;
as if to be weak or weaker than most
or even weaker than anyone else around you
which only serves to leave you open to risk
and ridicule or worse …
Vulnerable; as in a sense of social jeopardy,
uncertainly, and unwantedly seen
as a personal instability
which means no one will ever pick you for their team
or want you on their side.

I tell you that more than the bullying
and more than the social insults
or more than the social challenges of cliques
and clubs and the secret handshake tribes
or more than the exclusivity
of our upper-crust environment,
there is this idea which comes to mind that turns inward,
as it define people in judgments of better or worse –
and if we ask ourselves this honestly
Where does this leave us?
As in you or me?

What about the social climbers?
Sure, I know them. So do you.
Or what about the social lepers?
What about the so-called average or the commoners
or the people who are otherwise rejected by the social juries
of who’s who, who’s cool,
or who decides who fits, who’s included,
or who we deny.
What about them??
Aren’t they real too?
I certainly think they are . . .

What about them?
What about this because let’s call this what it is
because what this is, if for no other other reason
than to define the troubles of our times
and put this simply; this is our commercialized social climate
This is our Darwinist life,
which is life in comparison to the herd
and yes, this is most definitely the case of
survival of the fittest.  

This is where the social tests come from.
And by the way, as for these tests,
hardly anyone could pass their own
that is, of course, if we judge our lives
on a pass or fail basis.

I have grown sick of the status junkies.
I’m sick of the social echelons
and those who deem themselves so worthy yet
they choose to see the rest of the world as worthless –
or otherwise, unrewarding. 

To hell with your social climates.
To hell with the social bullies and the internal voice
because if we’re going to call this anything, then let’s call this the truth –
this is all a place in the mind
which can be unrelenting, restless,
irrational, ridiculous and, of course,
real, if we allow this to be

I tell you that it’s not what happens or what people say.
No, it’s the way we relate to the world around us.
It’s the way we internalize and personalize information
which can literally drive us crazy. 

Yes, I said crazy

I’m crazy too –
crazy because, at times,
very much like the rest of the world,
I wish there was a way to get away from myself.
I wish there was a way to quiet the mind
and hush the internal child with a lullaby,
just for a minute
so that the child in me can be at peace
and the adult in my head can take the wheel
and let me navigate to a better station in life.

So . . .
Let’s call this what it is.
The truth.

Our mind is the steering wheel.
Yes, I agree.
But we are the captains here 

Either we learn to steer away
or we head directly into the storm.
Either way,
there’s a choice to be made.
Be happy?
Or be at peace with being uncomfortable . . .

As for the storms in our head – I get it.
The thunder can be scary.
The assumptions of damage
can be worse than what they really are.

The ability to navigate once more
and find a new port
or a new place or to find a new way to live
can be intimidating. I get that . . .

But ask yourself this,
what are you doing with your life?
Are you running in circles?
Are you running in place?
Or, if you’re running,
Are you running towards something
or just running away – because either way will get you someplace

The only difference is if you’re running just to run away;
the answer is any port in the storm.
However, if you’re running towards something,
at least now you have a goal in mind.
At least you understand what you’re looking to get away from
and that, above all,
you know what you want,
which is more because finally
you want better for yourself

You want the dream that you’ve always had
because, at last, if you’re running towards something,
this means you have a focus in mind – and you won’t stop.
You won’t settle. You won’t give in
until this becomes so.

Oh, and just for the record.
There’s no rule that says you can’t be your own hero.
In fact, the day you become this
is the day you’ll stop waiting around
to be rescued by somebody else
because finally,
you’ll have rescued yourself

By the way, there’s a word for this.
It’s called heroic.
And that’s you
Heroic . . .

At least, I think so

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