Phase Four is a simple text. This is intended to bring out the inner truths and to spark the light from within. I have had my share of darkness in the past, which I openly discuss and describe because in my experience, the fact that I have accomplished or succeeded in one direction means that I can accomplish and succeed again in a new direction as well.
I think that first and foremost, it is important and valuable to create that inner narrative. It is helpful to create that inner hero; to hear these words, perhaps in a voice that is unlike your own; as if it’s someone reading this to you in a voice with the sole intention of inspiring you and pushing you to reach your next best level.
Our job here is to do this on a daily basis.
If our aim is to improve and be at our best, even when we are at our worst, then we have to find something that strikes the match and causes the flame to catch, like a matchstick in the dark explodes into a flame and brightens the dark.
If you have been reading this journal or any journal of its kind, or if you read self-help novels, or if you’ve been looking to find some kind of inspirational text or use something as a motivational tool, then without any doubt or exception, you are looking to unlock your future.
This means that like anyone else in the world, you are looking to master your life. To master your life means that we have to learn to master our accomplishments.
If you are looking to rise or if you are looking to transform yourself, or to improve from one form to another; or if you are looking to convert your life and in an effort to avert your eyes from the damages of yesterday; then it is critical that you come to this point.
Please allow me to introduce you.
This is the present.
This is the here and now.
This is more than a new beginning.
This is more than a new chapter or the next chapter.
This is more because this has more value. The reason for this is because if you are here with me on this journey, then this means you have the benefit of insight and understanding. Now that you understand the difference between a desired life and an unwanted past, now is more valuable than ever before.
This is more than the straw that broke the camel’s back.
This is more than the kettle calling the pot or the pot calling the kettle black.
There is no more name calling or finger pointing.
This is not about a simple change, by any means, nor is this entry simply about ways to unlock our minds and remove ourselves from the biases and the past. This is more than surpassing the damages or the blockages which have become our daily obstacles in our everyday life. No, this is more.
This is about ownership.
This is about the liberating freedom of pushing ourselves away from the tables where we no longer belong and, respectfully, we back our chairs away, stand up, return the chair beneath the table and simply put – this is about us walking away.
This is more than getting rid of the heartache and more than ridding ourselves of the memories that deny our best sense of self. This is a mission statement. This is a plan.
This is the moment when we attack.
This is when we springboard from our standpoint and create a brand new existence for ourselves.
No questions asked.
No explanations needed.
No need to defend our ground.
No need to look back over our shoulders, to see if anyone’s holding our place.
This entry is specifically designed for you.
This is about our ability to navigate away from ourselves.
This has nothing to do with the past, yet this entry has most definitely been inspired by the past.
But more –
This is about living in the present.
This is about the here and now.
This is about finding new ways to become impenetrable.
Impenetrable – as in, impossible to pass through; as in to guard ourselves from our old wreckages and to be protected, from here on in, we are now insulated and encased in the fabric of our truth. So now that we have decided to be loyal to our truths, no one can ever hurt us or deter us from this path again.
I say this because out of everything we have learned in this life, we have all learned what it’s like to have our heart broken. Everyone has had a dream or two shattered. Everyone understands disappointment on a first name basis. We have all had the feeling of knives in our back and yes, we all know what the word betrayal means.
No one is a stranger to this because the same as sunshine is part of our weather, so are the clouds and the storms that encroach on our lives.
But that is not what this is about.
No, this is about the here and now.
This is about us.
This is about our ways of finding a path that is not only undeniable but unavoidable because at last we have drawn the line to know where we stand. Now that we understand the rules of engagement that we see on a daily basis which takes place in our common, everyday life with common, everyday people. At last, we know that whether we rise or fall, or if we go or stay, quit, or if we decide to overcome, endure and persevere; we know that the time is now.
This means the decision is ours to make. Therefore, there is no decision more empowering than this.
How long are we going to dig the hole deeper?
How long are we going to complain?
How much longer are we going to work for someone else instead of working for ourselves?
If our goal is to make a better future for ourselves; or if at minimum, if our goal is just to enjoy the moment, then when are we going to make this a priority so this can be so?
How long are we going to deny ourselves?
When is it our turn to allow ourselves the rights we have to a life, which is more desired than the life we have?
How long are we going to allow ourselves to pass by the beautiful things without taking notice?
I ask this because meanwhile, there are stars above. There are places we want to see.
There are places we want to go, to sit, and maybe in my case, to find a great bowl of soup or something to eat somewhere near Chimayo, New Mexico, and later, we could go to a
place called, Santuario de Chimayo. But wait, this is more than just about me.
There are people we want to meet and people we want to be with. There are people who deserve our attention and to this, we must be loyal to these truths.
There is an entire world out there. It’s right outside the door, just waiting for us to open up to these plans –
so we can begin to live . . .
Now is where we begin.
Yesterday is gone.
We don’t live there anymore.
Understand?
But more importantly; we can’t live there anymore – not if we want to go anywhere further than where we have been. And that’s great . . .
Even if it wasn’t so great because and our past was unfortunate, at least now we have the wherewithal and the chance to recreate our life, from this moment onward.
If tomorrow came and I lost all of my abilities, or if I lost my ability to speak or walk, then I would want to replay the words that mattered the most in my life.
I would want to rethink the actions that made the most difference in my life.
I would want to rethink the introductions that changed my life and rather than mourn my losses, I would want to find a way to celebrate my life as best as I can.
I say this because what would be my alternative?
To be mad?
To suffer?
Everyone suffers in life. But haven’t we all suffered enough?
I say this because while the choice to speak or to walk would be taken from me, at least one thing would not be taken, which is my ability to think, my ability to appreciate, my ability to remember the things that have impacted me the most.
I would want to rethink the words that mattered the most –
Words like, I love you
Words like, I miss you.
I would want to rethink the times when I had the chance to see the most beautiful and important people in my life – and watch them smile.
If my mind is a vault that’s filled with my memories and if it’s true what the so-called shrinks and therapists tell me, that my mind is a record of my past, then let me fill this vault with beautiful things. Let me get rid of the rubbish and the trash.
Let me fill my mind with everything that can and will empower me; and should my mind be on the job now and taking notes, then good.
Then let me record this to the best of my ability so that i don’t make my old mistakes twice.
I am who I am, which is only human.
I am capable of great things. I am capable of love.
I am capable of forgiveness and tolerance.
I know this because I have seen the evidence which proves this is true to me.
I know this because at one point, I know where I was.
I understand who I was.
I understand my old hatred and my old frustrations.
I know all about my old resentments by names and places, dates and reflections.
I understand them fully and completely.
I know how hateful and resentful I was because I was there.
Only, that was my yesterday. That’s not the here or the now –
The one thing I know is that yesterday is gone, which means I don’t have to live there anymore.
And neither do you.
I have learned that if I have the capacity to hate then I have the capacity to love, just as equally, if not more.
If my mind is a vault, then its space can either be filled with hate or love in whichever density or mass this comes; and therefore, in my choice to redecorate this vault of mine; and in my decision to redefine my happiness and my sanity, I’ve had to choose the direction of hope. I have chosen to heal.
I have chosen to seek happiness and rather than look for the flaws or check the expiration dates on my dreams or my hopes and aspirations; I have chosen to replenish my best interests to make my life happen.
Otherwise, the denseness of my hatred and despair or the density of my resentment and the thickness of my frustration would overrun and overtake the space in my head.
Hence, this leaves me with nothing but the cold, dark remnants of a life that has been filled with regret and unwantedness.
If I am going to allow myself to experience the rebirth of sanity, then I will have to clear the shelves in my mind. I will have to remove the cobwebs and the records of resentment.
I don’t need to replay these old symptoms anymore.
I can move on now, because in order for me to move forward, I have to allow myself the room for a new life. Namely, my life, or from now until the hour of my death (Amen).
I might not have done the above as much as I could have (or should have,) but if I were to lose my abilities tomorrow, I would want to replay the best records of my life, over and over again.
Rather then be buried by the interest, I would rather pay my way now, and be debt free because the worst debts of all are karmic debts. I can’t afford any more of those.
(If you know what I mean.)
We have all encountered the difficult concepts of the mind.
But today is different.
Today is a new promise.
This is the equivalent of opening the blinds to an otherwise dark and gloomy room, and in our moment of redefinition, we allow the sunlight to move through the curtains.
It’s time. Out with the old and in with the new.
We’re allowing the freshness of our personal spring cleaning to absolve ourselves from our past, and to empty the vault of all its old or sorry cobwebs, and to clean the house; we are allowing ourselves to wipe the records from our past and to start a new life, from this day forward.
Yesterday is gone . . .
Our new journey into this rebirth is to not just restore ourselves.
No. This is more.
This is to complete our personal restoration that protects us from the remnants of an unwanted past.
This is to cover ourselves and become impenetrable from the undesirable elements, which we all encounter, we all see, and we all experience.
We are creating this loft in our mind to redecorate the vault from a dungeon-like appeal and to restore ourselves to reach our brightest, and best possible potential.
We are here to insulate ourselves as a means of protection from the storms, which may come, and which may happen, but as we learn to master our life, and as we learn to unblock ourselves and create our new freedoms, we also earn the right to recreate the records in our mind.
Yesterday is gone.
Neither you nor I can live there anymore.
So, from this day forward, we are here to master our life:
So that we can master our accomplishments,
to master our abilities to arise, to overcome,
and to restore ourselves to sanity.
From this day forward, we are here to rise to the levels of our biggest, best, and brightest ideas –
to realize our dreams
and make them so –
The Written Addiction 