There is a question that is very simple.
What do you want to do with your life?
I remember this question from back when I was a kid. The reason I remember is because there was a music video by a band called Twisted Sister.
(Remember them?)
In the song, the so-called parent shouted at his so-called son and asked, “What do you want to do with your life?”
Of course, since this was a music video, the so-called son answered, “I wanna rock!”
I don’t know if today’s generation would appreciate the song the way we did when the song came out.
I’m not sure if the makeup and the outfits would translate to the youngsters of today either. However, the freedom and the need to jump out of this life and stand up or to stand tall or to stand up and be counted is equally as big and equally as calling as the way it was when I was a kid and needed to break free.
But wait –
Here I am now, decades later, long after Twisted Sister and their song came out.
I find myself thinking about the very same question.
What do you want to do with your life?
What do you want to leave behind?
What do you want to achieve?
These are all valid questions.
When you look back at what you’ve done with your life or when you look at what you’ve left behind, what do you want this to look like?
If this were to be a moment in your life when you faced yourself and saw your truest reflection, is this what you wanted?
Is this your version of happiness?
I am compiling my list of items to an achievement list. As I go, I am also looking to compose a new future. No differently from that kid in the video, I am asking myself the same, valuable question.
What do you wanna do with your life?
It is important to note that we grow and we change.
We move and we evolve. We learn and we circle back and sometimes, our life comes back to us in full-circle.
Sometimes, fate is kind and lets us know – “Here I am!”
Sometimes, we run and run and we drive ourselves crazy.
We look and we search and the whole while, everything we wanted and needed was right there.
Right in front of us.
Right under our nose and right before our eyes.
However, it is our mental concepts and the hardwired, or programmed thinking that tilts our thoughts into different states of disbelief.
I never believed that happiness could be mine.
I swore that there was a trick or maybe there was some fine print that I must have overlooked.
I have spent a very long time at a job where tiny components can lock us out of huge systems.
And I realize this happens. I get it.
Sometimes, the fix is simple. But not to us.
Right?
No, we are far to complex.
Aren’t we?
I was told about a simple program for complicated people back when I walked into a room before the day of April 1, 1991.
I was told to “Keep it simple,” yet – I have not mastered that craft so well.
At least not yet.
No, we assume the worst.
We assume life is complicated. We never seem to keep things simple because when we feel overwhelmed or when our emotional content misleads us; or if and when we find ourselves in crisis or when we assume the worst and we assume the uphill battles are the worst or the hardest to climb, the ideas of the solution being simple are more of an insult than anything else.
Remember the saying: Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down by being told to calm down.
And it’s true!
I have no taste for this type of life anymore. Crisis and I go back a long time. Trauma and I are old friends too.
So is regret – we used to have lunch together. All the time.
I have no time for complicated ideas or thoughts that can lead me astray .
I have no more time for the ideas that hurt me nor do I have time to play the scenarios in my head that either beat me up or take me away from my mission.
A mission, you say?
Yes, this is a mission.
I am on a mission to achieve small items and accumulate them on a daily basis.
This is how I will make them all bigger.
Besides, I’ve already accumulated enough mistakes.
I am on a mission to pull off a trick (or maybe even two).
I am looking for my better self so that I can become my best self.
Even more, I am looking to give myself tasks and projects to both build and strengthen my steps so that one day, when I grow and when I gain momentum and move at my best potential, nothing in the world can ever stop me. Not even death. . .
I have seen my share of ups and downs.
But, I am currently at my best weight.
I am in the best physical shape of my life.
I go to the gym.
I say hello to at least one new person each day.
I make my way here, each morning, and I open up to you each day, just to keep us close and to let you know that I am really alive.
I am done with comparisons.
I am through searching for my best costume because I don’t want to “play” pretend anymore.
I am finished with the ideas that I, as I am, am somehow flawed and that I, as I am, am in need of either a make-over or full and complete overhaul.
I understand more about my missteps and my misgivings now.
Truly, I get it . . .
I see where I need to make my corrections.
I understand more about my self-absorbed mistakes and my egocentric ideas which have done nothing for me, except keep me from my best life.
I am aware of my faults. I’m aware of where they come from.
I am aware of my trained biases and assumptions.
Then again, I am aware that if I am trained to act or to think or to respond or assume, then I can also be trained to think, respond, react or assume differently.
It’s all a matter of adapting my emotional fitness to an updated process of personal education.
You know what they say about education, right?
Education brings freedom and more than anything –
I want to be free.
I can reconstruct my thinking. Therefore, I am aware that there are times when we have to break our thinking down and separate this into the simplest measure.
Like we did in math back when we started to learn about fractions – sometimes, we have to find the least common denominator and we can go from there.
Sometimes we have to deconstruct our thoughts.
We have to dismantle our attitudes – so we can start over.
I don’t mind starting over anymore.
Although – I used to mind . . .
I used to think that starting over was equally saying that I failed and as a result, I had to go back to the old drawing board, so-to speak.
But that’s okay.
I’m back at the old drawing board. I’m drafting up my plans on a new attack and planning a new takeover.
Not in a violent sense.
Not in a rebellious sense either yet –
I am looking to disrupt my old thinking with an electric charge of hope
and yes . . . I plan to add love to the mix.
I plan to add a brand new life to this story.
Next on my list is as follows:
I’ll have to make the daring moves it takes to step away from my comfort zone.
Next, I’ll have to open up and not try to cover my face to secure my ego.
Next, I’ll have to reveal myself to the people I love and care for.
I will expose one hard truth, each day.
I will expose at least one fear.
I will face at least one discomfort each day so that going forward, I will compile a list of accomplishments that are so tall and strong that I will never be so afraid again.
However, and getting back to the question:
What do you want to do with your life?
Yes, I do wanna rock.
I want to do this now more than ever before.
I want to live.
In fact, I want to improve my 4 L’s.
The 4 L’s are the way we Live, Love, Laugh and Learn.
I was told about the 4 L’s while learning about mental health first aid in a classroom setting.
Anything that affects our 4 L’s is something that affects our mental health.
If this is true, then it must be true that I can have a strong and positive impact on my 4 L’s by allowing myself the freedom to “Go, Be and Do.”
Someone who I love so dearly and someone who, to me, is the most beautiful woman and person in this world told a suggestion. She said this to me at a time when I was overthinking and literally crippling myself.
“Eat the rice,” she said.
This was said in the middle of a dietary consideration. However, I took this a bit more deeply.
Or, at least I am now.
“Eat the rice” is more than a nutritional consideration. This not about “carb-counting” but more, this is about living.
Do the dance!
Take the risk!
Kiss the girl!
Give it a shot and for God’s sake –
Stop worrying about what other people think or what other people see!
“You are the smartest person I know!”
These are words that come from the most beautiful spirit that I have ever known.
I can say that my inspiration is equally my motivation. And more, my love and my heart and all that I have is all that I can be. Therefore, I want to be better.
I want to be more.
I want to “eat the rice.”
I want to try something new each day. Every day that I am awake and alive, I want to accumulate these achievements and keep them in my heart and hold them closely.
I plan to collect these accomplishments so that at my final moment; if I am so lucky that I have the sound mind and the wherewithal to have an enlightened consciousness; when the clock strikes, I can and will look back at my life with a humbled heart. I will view this with a warm regard, and with love in my eyes, and with a grateful soul – I will tip my hat and say yes. This is what I did with my life.
Today’s goals are as follows:
Step out of my comfort zone.
Introduce myself to someone who I am otherwise intimidated to speak with.
Tell the most important people in the world why I love them so.
Tell them about my fear.
Tell them something personal – but it has to be valid and meaningful.
(Know what I mean?)
I want to plan at least one meal that I have never made before.
I have to do one, selfless thing for someone who I do not like or trust or even value – and here’s the trick . . . I can’t tell them or anyone about this either.
Otherwise, it defeats the purpose.
Plan my next trip . . .
I have ideas and I have hopes that I will not face this one alone.
But it’s okay if I am alone, at least on this one. (for now)
Also . . .
Give love
Be loved
That’s what I want to do with my life today.
What about you?
The Written Addiction 