What inspires hope?
Is it life?
Is it someone or something
that creates or acts like a seed,
and then triggers a thought . . .
or is it a connection
which somehow,
changes us for either the better
or worse?
Is the inspiration of hope
something that brings a spark
or starts the fire inside,
or is hope the drive that keeps us alive
and despite the ugly truths,
somehow, we see life in a different way
and should this be true,
is hope the light that degrades the darkness
and removes the blindness
to eye, which can otherwise see . . .
is that it?
I understand this,
or should I say,
I understand how this applies to me . . .
I understand that all people are inspirations
but inspiration is only energy
and energy can go in either direction.
There are those who will inspire us to go and to do
and to be, and to build,
and there are those who will inspire us to weep,
or withdraw, and there are those who will inspire hope
and those who inspire sadness
and there are those who will inspire hope
in a way that restores our faith in humanity.
Also, there are those who will drain us of hope
and drain us from the goodness of life
and with them in mind,
there are those who will inspire pain or resentment
and those who lead us to see the worst
instead of the best in ourselves.
It is hard at times, which is odd to say
yet true, because,
in the same breath, there are those who
are unhealthy
or unkind in their own way
whether meaningfully or not,
or intentionally
or unintentional, but even with the best intentions,
there are those who have a way about them
who leave us empty or wanting
or hurt
or those who,
while hoping that yes, maybe someday,
the world will straighten out
and the wedge between us will be cleared,
(but nothing clears)
and in the quest of the ongoing tease
which is also known as happiness;
our plans become swindled by the truth
that nothing was as it seemed
(at least to me)
and then, life changes
and next, we find that our hopeful dreams
were altered, or perhaps even sacrificed
and maybe, if we are open to the idea
or lucky enough to get another shot;
maybe the falls that let us down
or perhaps the disappointments that set me apart
were nothing short of necessary.
Maybe this was all a “happening”
to show me that
no, this was not the life that was intended for me
and that perhaps something else is in store
and that yes, I know there is love in store for me
and on the other side of this event,
good things are on the way.
I just have to allow time to do its trick
and learn to move on
instead of always looking behind me.
I know it is easy to be hopeless.
I know all the faces and the lies
and the feelings of hopelessness;
and I know all of them on a first name basis. In fact,
we’ve been in contact
with one another for as long as
I can remember.
But still—
Somewhere in the span of my new life,
or somehow in the openness of a new road
which is unexplored and unknown to me,
or as scary as the present danger of
something so new –
I have to believe that hopefully,
there is a point to all of this,
and that after passing through the moments
of either heartbreak or disappointment — somehow,
I know that I will be able
to come out on the other side of this,
clean, and able, and ready
to live a longer, better life
and face the sun
once again.
I realize that nothing is ever going to be as good as fantasy.
But I don’t want the fantasy anymore.
I want my reality to match my heart,
and my dreams, and my drive.
Therefore, when this unfolds,
I want my fantasy to fail in comparison
because when my real life begins,
nothing will be as good as this.
Nothing at all.
But in all fairness:
Do I believe in hope?
Yes, I do.
Do I believe that everyone inspires us
in some way, shape, or form?
Absolutely
Some inspire us to draw nearer
and some inspire to stay still,
and notice the sunrise
and some inspire us to wake up
one morning
and realize that better days
are deserved
and therefore,
in order to live better,
I have to be better,
which means that to improve,
I have to be unafraid to dare the world
and give myself the chance –
to change my reality,
without apology
and to make my life better than any dream
I’ve ever had.
This is my new challenge
and today is a new day.
So?
Okay, Thursday. . .
Show me what you’ve got to show me
and take me where I need to go.
Or, like Father Mike used to say,
“Tell me what you want me to say
and keep my out of your way . . .”
I miss Father Mike.
He always knew how to inspire me,
with hope,
that is.
The Written Addiction 