Nighttime and all is right with the world.
I am dialed in and smooth at the moment, or even better,
I am like the softness of good music
smooth as ever beneath a starlight sky
in the cobblestone section of our
Downtown, New York City streets
The moon is on the rise.
The warmer winds are calm and the stars,
Good-God,
the stars are better than the sparkles
from the bursting rockets on the 4th of July.
I swear . . .
If you ask me how I know
love exists
I will tell you that this is how I know
and I will tell you that Clapton was onto something
when he sang about
“My darling, you look wonderful tonight
The lies can be true and the truth can be lies
and for the moment,
nothing else matters because
yes, she is my darling . .
and she looks wonderful tonight.
I do not have the time or the tongue
to talk about “what happened before,”
and nor is there any reason
to go over my pointless regard for resentments.
No, the moment is far greater than this.
I have no time for the mild to moderate informants,
or for the real-life rats who run the daily mazes
and look to knife your spine and tell our secrets
to put us down.
And for what?
My assumption is that people do this
to catch an angle
or to pull a trick so they can one-up you,
or look strong when they make someone else
look weak.
Fake strength is just fake strength
and with fake strength comes a weak endurance
which means all we have to do
is stay the course
and the hate will fall behind is
and die in the dust of our turbulent past.
I am not about that life anymore.
No, I am fine.
The night is perfect.
The lights are just right and the music
is enough to make me want to sway perfectly
and closely and to be so close
that a simple dance is enough to
impregnate the womb
with the taseful desire
of my beautiful sins.
I have no time to waste or to want something
other than what I have,
which is everything at the moment.
And, too
even if you are not mine
or with me . . .
I get it.
I have no time to waste on anyone else
and there is no more room to settle for any kind
of substitute.
This will never happen again.
Either I will have my dream
or I will be fine to have nothing.
Perhaps this is why it was screamed
give me liberty
or give me death
because having less than true liberty
is the same as living like a slave
and I refused to be enslaved another day
That is
of course,
unless he has any ideas for a little role-play.
I am fine and free and fortunate
to stroll away from the daily, everyday people
who posture and pose
as if they were fit to be my judge and jury
Yet, none of my persecutors
are fit and none of them
are a judge or a jury of my peers.
And plus . . .
meanwhile, the hypocrisy around us is incredible
to say the least
and the marvelous part of this to me
is how most of my accusors
fail their own tests.
Nevertheless, I see the hypocrites.
I have read their claims
I hear their complaints and I have seen them point
and they scream and they slander
and they do what they do
to create their smoke screens but no,
“they don’t want no smoke,”
and nor can they afford to be exposed by the light,
because just like their demons fear the light
because of how the light exposes the darkness;
this also exposes their truths.
And so, I see people shoot and they trash.
and they badger the witnesses
to make someone confess
or acquiesce and go along.
“But hey,” they tell the world,
“don’t look at me. I am only playing the game called
‘The lesser of two evils'”
And trust me, picking one evil over the other
makes no difference in the battles between Saints and sinners
because to me,
many of us can be saint-like,
but all of us have the ability to be a little evil
or outrageous.
And still, I say no.
The moment is too good for me.
I have no time for this
I have no energy left for the back and forth banter
and no, I have no time left
to waste because as I see it;
I am on a mission.
I am on a quest and searching for something
that is quite unlike any mission
I have ever been on before.
And this one?
This one is critical to my survival.
Otherwise, I might die . . .
even if only in a figurative sense
This mission is from the heart of me,
straight down to the core of me
and therefore, I have no choice
but to be my own bravest soldier
and march ahead.
I have to lace my boots and be ready for the trenches
and at the same time, I have to go and move;
as in onward and forward because if I fail,
then let me fail while fighting and moving ahead.
Anything else just cowardly
and submissive.
but again,
I could be fine with being submissive
at least, from a role play perspective.
There will be no video evidence
or photographed documentation.
No, none of this is about that
Besides, I am not one for pictures,
which is more so because I have never been one
who is comfortable with my reflection,
let alone to be comfortable
while being immortalized in a photograph,
or memorized in a snapshot
that lasts for life or longer.
I can often tell my moods in pictures
by the look on my face, which is why
I stay out of pictures
as often as I can.
I can see my discomforts
or tell by face in the picture
how my thinking betrayed me
and my feelings were against me.
I can see what I was thinking or feeling,
and more, I can tell by the look on my face,
which to me is as descriptive as a tell-all book
I have never seen myself in pictures
and saw the moment which was captured
and thought –
look at that . . .
That’s me when I am happy
Or at peace.
But for the moment,
i am on the canal
enjoying the nightlife
The night is right
And for now;
now is the right time to let the music
do its thing
There are simple things in life
which we tend to overlook
or take for granted.
Like, say the moon or how the full moon hangs
in the sky
and sort of celebrates
the perfection of a moment.
Or the stars on a dark night
when romance is at its best and dammit-all,
I can feel the presence of something better than sexy,
which leads me to the touch of her hand
or the feel of me pushing into the entry
to her body.
I love her
and how her floodgates
drench the wet spot in the bed.
And so you know
I do believe in the art of dance
and the power of slow rhythms
or how intimate music
creates the right atmosphere.
And this is the best
This is the best aphrodisiac of all. I swear,
this is better than any medication, needle, pill
or even a drink that makes you forget about your limitations
and releases your inhibitions
I want to dance like this, slow and steady,
and sexy too like the best and warmest tale of all tales –
better than a dream –
better than a fairy tale and better than the best night
I have ever had in any city.
I think I am due
I think I am owed.
I think above all things,
I want this more now than ever before.
I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything
and hence, my mission ahead of me
will cover all kinds of terrain – and fine.
So be it.
I can take the terrain and survive the landscapes.
I can face the rain and the cold and endure the heat,
by any means necessary.
I am on a mission
And the city, ahhh, how I want this to be the way I dream
and as for you, my love?
I want you to be on my side
with no restrictions, no limitations,
and if allowed, I know that nothing in the world
can stop me this time,
trust me
When this happens, I will never let go
I will hold on to this, in this life and the next
Just one dance
One . . .
And I’ll know that happily ever after
is far more real than all the false bravado and male ego bullshit
and more, I see how the tough-guy nonsense
is meaningless and small
because no
I am not touch
I never have been
never will be
which to me
this is tough enough
One dance
I know that’s all it would take
I swear my life on it
Pinky promise
No backs, no tax
Cross my heart and hope to die
And no . . .
. . . I don’t hope to die
because my angel is here on Earth
And so long as you are here
then this means you exist
and as long as you exist;
I know my love for you will never die
It just goes on
and remains
eternal
The Written Addiction 