As grown as I am
I am equally childlike
and immature at times,
and hence, I can see this clearly now
and more clearly than before
because, of course;
due to the benefits of hindsight,
my hindsight shows me how my flaws
can degrade me
and worse
my actions can be humiliating
if I am being honest. . .
Why?
Why do we fight?
Why argue?
Why do we fight so hard and lead with our strong hand
instead of showing patience
and why can’t we choose to be happy
instead of fighting harder to be right?
And so, if we love someone so much,
and if the worst thought is to lose them
or if all we want is to be happy
then why do we act on behalf of the opposite?
This is the case of us
being our own worst enemy . . .
and no enemy is worse or stronger
than the enemy within.
Why do we allow ourselves to manifest our assumptions
until they become real
and when this happens
and when we see ourselves
falling down the spiral
and losing control,
why do we perpetuate the worst?
Why do we consolidate our biggest concerns
and make them come true?
Why?
Why do we allow external problems
to become an internal dilemma
and above all,
if we love and we care and in the end,
if all we want to do is laugh or smile and feel joy,
then why do we self-destruct or implode?
And worse, why do we allow our thinking
to steal our joy?
No. Really.
I want to know.
What’s the point, or if there is one
what’s the use?
Or wait, no.
Of course, there’s a point
and of course there is a use
and yes,
of course life comes with twists and turns
and countless pitfalls, peaks and valleys.
Life is always going to come with
highs and lows.
Yes.
This is us.
This is me
This is you.
And no matter how we try;
this is the place we call “life”
and no one gets out of this place alive.
So, no . . .
I am not saying that one should life like they’re dying
but more;
I am saying that we have to live
like there is never going to be another shot at this again.
So make it work
Shut up . . .
put your pride to the side
and let go of that tiny army in your mind.
Get your finger off the trigger
and step away from the red button
because all this does is destroy
and all of your infantry
and all your troops
and all of your self-guided missiles
and landmines
are set for destruction
by any means necessary, regardless of who goes
or stays, or who lives, or dies.
And so,
innocent lives and collateral damages
are far more costly
when it comes to the friendly fire.
I know this and I know the innocent hearts
who took my shrapnel and held their infections
had nothing to do with my own wars.
So, they held my infections
until this rotted away at their core
from the inside out.
Of course, the rainbow comes after the rain
which is a reminder that hope is real.
Love is real
and perhaps I might never find the end of the rainbow
or the so-called pot of gold.
But then again,
maybe gold is not so golden
and “All that glimmers”
are more precious
when they are humble by design.
Then again, the riches we assume that make us rich
have nothing to do with us being wealthy.
Or wait . . .
is this just something that poor people say?
I was told this by someone who was supposedly wealthy
when meanwhile
no one liked him
At least, not really
However, I have been under the assumption
that used to teach
that might makes right
and wealth makes the world go around
and yes; I realize there are different kinds of wealth
and as for might, I realize how the mighty have fallen
or otherwise, I realize that my opride
came before my fall
I see how my ideas of might and my strength
are what causes more problems
than my kindness
To be gentle is the strongest action one can take.
That is, of course, if one is strong enough
to allow themselves to be humble or modest,
or more frightening than anything else –
The strongest thing that anyone could ever be
is vulnerable
I wonder how strong we are
after we allow ourselves
to be weak
and get caught “with our pants down,”
so-to-speak.
The rain comes after the rainbow
and so, even when the storms are loud
and even the world is dark;
there is always light,
because if there wasn’t
then the how else
could we see the contrast of our actions?
No matter how we close our eyes to the truth,
the bottom line is we know the difference
between right and wrong.
Why do we fight?
Why do we argue
especially when we love someone
and meanwhile
we look at them in mid-argument
just wishing that we could hit the brakes
and stop
and say
I love you
I’m sorry
please forgive me
so . . .
Hit the brakes now before the fights get too long
too lengthy
or they add up to something uncontrollable
because this is the deciding factor
that makes your worst fears
become real
Somethings are worth fighting for
And
so
fight your demons
because there are no enemies
bigger than enemies within
Trust me
The Written Addiction 