I come from such an interesting time. Like others, my family moved from a busy neighborhood to something quiet. We went from the active street behind Queens Boulevard to a less active, certainly quiet town away from the boroughs and into the suburban life. I have pictures of my old home somewhere. When we first moved in, the siding was brown on our two story cape. Our street was one of the main ones in the neighborhood. Across from us was a large empty field, several acres in size, bordered and separated by mound of dirt, which traced the outline of the vacant lot. Only, this was no ordinary field or vacant lot. This was once Continue reading →

As strange as it sounds, there is freedom in our failures. When there’s nothing left to lose and everything crashes; there is nothing left to worry about. Since all is lost, the pressure is lifted. There is nothing left to protect. There are no reasons to hide anymore. We are out now. We are already exposed and the bottom we hit is cold, hard, and absolutely painful.
When you hit bottom—at least this is bottom and you have nowhere left to fall.

Whether things could Continue reading →

This piece is for animal lovers. If you are not or never have been an animal lover, this piece will either sway you towards the idea or help you understand the love people feel towards their family pets.
I warn you, this may get a little sappy. There will be no apologies, and those who understand will see themselves as people that understand for a reason. Not everyone grew up or appreciates the same benefits in life. However, those who grew up with a family cat or dog will understand with warmth in their heart and perhaps a tear in their eye.
As a special note, and before I move forward, I think it will be helpful for you to imagine the house you grew Continue reading →

In afternoon, the hot white sand is a bed to the body of undressed footsteps. The soft waves move in from a turquoise bay and fold upon the length of an empty shoreline, which to me, runs on for miles.
The sun has already peaked and the glowing mass returns from its summit and begins to submit to the horizon. The beach is empty in this dream. Perhaps it is this way for a reason.  The sky is clearly blue and without a cloud to interrupt the view of an unobscured heaven. I am south of the equator, or so I suppose, and with all my heart, I do not want to leave this place.

I don’t want to move from Continue reading →

It is the end of August and the summer moves closer to its unofficial end. The hours of daylight have already begun to shorten and students are preparing for the upcoming school year. I find myself wondering if anything has changed. I know the classrooms are different. The teachers from my time have all retired. Some of them have passed away. I know the computers are different and the styles from my day have changed throughout the years. I wonder, however, if the core emotions are still the same as when I was a teenage boy. I wonder if the feelings are any different and what the crowds are like.

I wonder what the social strategies are with today’s youth. What are the social draws? What are the crowds like Continue reading →

I saw something the other day and it stuck with me. It was a picture with the words, “Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down.”

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.

Like many other people, I suffer from occasional to sometimes frequent anxiety attacks. They come on suddenly and often blindingly. However, after a careful consideration of these attacks; I realize they usually begin with a trigger. I see it like a unexpected storm that hits the horizon. The sky turns dark and loses daylight. One droplet falls. Then two droplets, three, and in seconds, the sky opens up and pours down in an angry rain.

When the storm hits, I lose visibility. I can’t think straight or focus because the rain is too heavy. This is how my panic attacks feel. When the anxiety hits, I began to lose choices. I lose my ability to negotiate or navigate my way through simple tasks. Everything happens at the wrong pace. Everyone seems to be in my way.
All I want to do is get out—and by out, I mean out of wherever I am. I’d like to get out of my skin. I would like to get out of my body—but I can’t so I begin to feel closed in. I feel claustrophobic and the Continue reading →

The saying goes, “If you can’t laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?”
I laugh at the fact the sex business is a multi-billion dollar industry, but yet nearly every man lies whenever a woman asks, “Have you ever been with a prostitute?” or “Have you ever paid for sex?”
(Sorry guys, but you know it’s the truth)

When I was somewhere around the age of 20, a friend of mine told me about a happy accident he had in the back room of a small nail salon. I call this a happy accident instead of a happy ending because Continue reading →

There are places I see in my dreams; places like my first bedroom when I was an infant and living in a duplex apartment off Queens Boulevard. I can see it all very clearly. My point of view is from the inside of my white crib. The room is the kind of dim that comes when a baby is placed down for an afternoon nap.
I notice the light blue walls with scribbles of crayons drawn in large circles next to the light switch. And though I have no memory if this, my Mother once told me I used to draw on the walls, which is why they used to take my crayons away from me when I was in my bedroom.
I see this place in my dreams sometimes. The white door that leads out into to corridor is slightly opened. I suppose Continue reading →