Saul Williams once wrote, “Only believers in death will die.”
I had to think about this . . .

If it were up to us, our loved ones would never pass. No one would ever become sick, or suffer a minute of sadness or pain. If it were up to us, we would always remain friends. No one would ever leave, and if they did, nobody would ever part on bad terms.
Unfortunately, it is not up to us.

We were young once. We ran Continue reading →

My choice to remain as I am, or sober, comes with the occasional reminders as if to say, “Just so you know, it’s still the same out there.”
I rarely look at myself and think of me as sober. After nearly 25 years, this has become a part of who I am. Sobriety is part of my behavior. However, the understanding of why I stay sober remains, and should I choose to slip backwards—there would be a certain failure, and it is that certainty that keeps me as I am — sober.

The other day, I walked through the isles in one of the nearby drugstores. I stopped at the end section to notice a new product. It was non-alcoholic wine. It was white wine to be exact. I have never seen this before. I have seen non-alcoholic beer, but not wine.

In all honesty, my experiences with wine never Continue reading →

The best part is the wild part.
This is when you dance on the edge of being caught, or you do something forbidden because it feels good. This is the part that makes your hearts thump when you see each other.
It is the reason why she followed you into the back room where no one else goes, but the possibility of someone rushing in and opening the door at any minute stirs you both into the excess of each other’s flesh.

This is why your kiss rolls her eyes into the back of her head and her body falls limp into your arms. This is why she submits to you, and this why you cannot think of anything else but Continue reading →

It was long ago. The autumn had come and changed the appearance of my town. The leaves had yet to fall, but their green skin had changed into different variations of yellow and orange. The weather was no longer warm, but cool, as if it were in between the perfect climax before falling too far in the other direction.

My street was busy. Then again, it was always busy.  The traffic on Merrick Avenue was constant; however, it was more congested during the morning and evening rush hours. Cars ran from west to east down Glenn Curtis Boulevard to avoid the extra lights and delays on Hempstead Turnpike. Glenn Curtis was a mainroad shortcut between Continue reading →

The world I live in was meant for me. All of it was meant for me—and by all I mean ever sliver and crack.
I lived, I tell you.
I may have lived differently from others, but the details of my past are the salt and pepper that seasoned my life and led me to where I am now.

I once lived in the basement of a white, ranch-styled house, with black shutters on the windows, a small driveway, one-car garage, and brick steps that led up to a covered patio, with green imitation grass, and a welcome matt that sat beneath the front door.
I lived on a quiet street between two Continue reading →

There was an advertisement poster on the train for Disney bracelets. The bracelet is a series of different charms to be strung around the wrist and custom-made. One of the silvery heart-like charms had the words, “Be Magical” engraved with a tiny Mickey Mouse emblem and diamond-like chips sparkled in its background.

This is what I remember about Disney:

Little girl looked up at the stage to watch the lights beam while the curtain opened and her eyes sort of glistened in the reflection of the greatest show on earth.
She stared in complete amazement—watching magic perform in front of Continue reading →

As I write this to you, the sun is beginning to make its first debut for the year 2015. Currently, the temperature on the beach at Point Lookout, New York is 28 degrees. The wind direction is west by northwest and gusting from 16 to 27mph. The tide is ebbing between high and low and the inshore wave height is averaging between three to four feet.
There is a small craft advisory until later this evening. I suppose Continue reading →

“It’s gonna be a New Year,” said one of my bosses.
This did not come from one of the top bosses. It came from one of the assistant supervisors. “There’s gonna be some changes made around this place,” he said.
“I’m putting my foot down.”

I arrive at work the same time each morning. I come in early to ease myself into the process. I begin by putting my hand inside of a hand-scan, which reads my fingerprints, and starts my hours on the clock.
My next step is to an old gray door with vented louvers that take up one Continue reading →

The outcome became clear to me when I heard the sound of a heavy steel door close behind me and lock into position. I heard the sound of drunken inmates as they howled in their small holding cells. Further down the line, I heard the crying sobs of a young man whose only temporary comfort was his separation from the other criminals in the Town of Hempstead’s Holding Facility.

It was as clear Continue reading →

It was only a few days before Christmas . . .
After a long drive from the farm and visiting The Old Man in the hospital, I went back to my two-story cape, suburban home. All of the rooms were the same, except for mine. The couches in the living room were no different from how they were before I left and went away for treatment.
The kitchen was the same and so were the dining room, bathroom, and the television room. I walked into the house where I grew up after only being away for four months, and though I knew this house well, and though I knew its every crevice, every hiding space, and every sound the floors would Continue reading →