It was after nightfall on the beach in San Diego. I was about a half mile north of Mexico. The moon was full and beaming down on the surface of the ocean. I had never seen a place like this before. I had never seen the moonlight intermingle with the waves like this. I never saw a pier that reached out from the land and stretched high above the shoreline and reached out into the water. I never saw anything like this, except in movies. I never felt the feelings or smelled the smells. This is partly what made my trip so memorable to say. Perhaps this was memorable because there is nothing like this in New York. There are certainly no palm trees. The sunrise was different here. So are the sunsets.
Continue readingAbout Recovery From Divorce
I believe the thing that stops us is the very concern of what happens next. What do I do? Where do I go? Or better yet, who will I be if not me or the person I’ve been for so long? The trouble is the ideas of what comes next or what comes after.
After what, you ask?
A Note To The Speaker
I have had the chance to speak in small rooms and large auditoriums. I have presented in front of people that ranged from young kids to adults. I do not change my speech. I do not change my explanation nor do I change the flow of my story. First of all, my story is my story so why change it? And the answer is yes, like anyone and everyone else in this world, I have a past. I have a past that I am not proud of. I have a history that was marked with shame. I have a stigma that I had to learn to change.
Continue readingNotes From The Heart: For Kareem
To say the previous year was a year of loss would be an understatement. The truth is we all lost. We lost connections. We lost the opportunity to gather. Some people lost their jobs and businesses, and some people lost hope. We lost loved ones, friends and family.
As it stands, 2020 is a year that will never be forgotten. There is no doubt this year will be a year that goes down in history books. This will always be known as the year of the pandemic.
Continue readingSilence The Inner Critic
There is a popular saying that goes, “I am my own biggest critic.” There is another popular saying, which goes, “I am my own worst enemy,” and all of which can be true. We can beat ourselves up. We can hold ourselves accountable for things that were far beyond our control. We can blame ourselves and punish ourselves but the punishment is in the mind.
Marcus Aurelius once said, “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”
Think about this for a second.
No More Excuses
Charles Bukowski once wrote, “Your life is your life. Don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.”
If you want to do something then do it. If you want to go somewhere then go. If you want to be someone then be it. Don’t let a small thing like intimidation set you back.
Don’t allow the worries or irrational fears to keep you from your dreams or your happiness. Above all things, don’t allow your dreams to be exchanged for a life you never wanted. Be mindful. Be aware of excuses and be diligent on your course towards happiness.
The In-Group and The Out-Group
In order to step away from the in-group and out-group bias, there has to be an understanding that difference does not always create enemies. The truth is there is no “Us versus Them” and there is no reason to “Other” someone. There is a word for this. Ever hear of it? It’s called “Othering.”
There are interesting phenomena that can be seen all around us. Take a sports team. Take the hometown favorite. Take the best player on the team and see them get hurt. See them fouled or mistreated in any way possible. The fans would feel empathy for the player. If the injury was severe enough to end the player’s career, the fans would mourn the player. The fans would hurt as if the player’s loss belonged to the fan’s themselves, which in reality, this isn’t so.
Stop With The Pedestal . . .
I remember the first time I ever read the line “No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence.” I like that line.
For some reason however, we view others and put them on a pedestal. This begins at birth. This begins with the people in our life and in our family. This begins with our mothers and fathers and older siblings. We are trained to believe in a pecking order. We are taught and trained to think and hold people in specific regard because of who they are and the positions they hold.
Continue readingA New Journal: Notes From The Heart
If for nothing else, today is a perfect day to reflect. Today, as in this moment now and here with you, the sun is coming up and peaking through the window of my loft. The clinking from my radiator signifies that it is cold outside but it is warm in here.
For now, all is quiet. For now, the new year is only a baby and was just born a little more than eight hours ago. There are so many things I wish I could see and so many things I’d like to say. Perhaps this is why I value our time as much as I do. This is why you mean so much to me. I am fine here. I am comfortable. And you understand me. You get it. There is no need to pretend. There is no need to act or perform. It’s perfect.
Continue readingNew Year’s Eve 12/31/20
So here it is, the last day of 2020. And here we are, hoping for something to come along and save us, like a vaccine or an answer of some kind, which can hopefully turn us all around. Maybe this is so we can get back to being human again. And tonight when the ball drops, this year will become last. I am writing this specifically to you. So, for the time being, I would like to clear away all of our sorry little distractions and scale back to the core of our natural being.
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The Written Addiction 