If you want to find something, then you have to look for it.
Look as hard as you can because nothing comes to those who wait . . .
Currently looking at Marie as she stares at the window to see the nighttime sky; her eyes are glittery and beautiful, yet sad with deep thoughts, which somehow draws me to her—making her more beautiful because Marie is real and not fantasy.
“Everything I ever Continue reading
I take it you don’t understand how it works or how anyone could fall so low. Well, if this is the case, then please allow me to explain. See, no one asks to feel this way. No one signs up for this, and says, “Hey, I wonder what it feels like to live like that.”
I am not sure why some are immune to this sort of thing and others are less fortunate. There are lucky ones and those who seem to be without luck. There is a curse known as feeling completely and totally uninteresting. This is life in behind the barred doors of social awkwardness and the need to feel wanted.
Neither ugly nor handsome; neither charismatic nor boring—this is life when all seems unremarkable. . .
Of all things I ever Continue reading
To Whom this May Concern:
Please allow this letter to inform you that I, Benjamin J, Kimmel, being of sober mind, body and spirit, and having completed several years of continuous sobriety regret to inform you there are no changes in the world of addiction.
Although names have changed since my time of activity, the accents on the street are different, locations to pick up have switched and there are more forms of addictive medication now, which are a bit easier to access through simple doctor visits. In most cases, they are easily attained with a prescription; the addiction game is the same as it was the day I walked through the doors of a treatment center in early September 1989. I can assure you, the Continue reading
The idea of tomorrow seems too far away for a young mind to consider. I remember because after all, I was young once too. I swore the fire from the bridges I burned would light my way. Eventually, the firelight from the burning brides dwindled as I moved on. When I turned back to see where I was, the light was gone, and it was too late to turn back. It was too dark for me to retrace my footsteps and I was unsure how I had gotten to this point. I was in deep and spiraling downward in an out of control sickness.
Closing of winter, the sun returned Continue reading
Not sure if you’ve seen this, but the stores are already gearing for the holidays. October has yet to finish, but commercialism is quick to pull off its trick. . .
One of my favorite questions around this time is, “What do you want this year?”
I never ask for much. This does not mean my list is short; it only means the items on it a bit more personal. I understand that some of these wishes I have are unrealistic at best. Some of the Continue reading
I have never been anyone other than who I am so I could not tell you what it would be like to be anyone else. I have only seen what it means to be a son and not a daughter. There is a different bond between mother and son. It is sometimes turbulent and sometimes misunderstood with moms being the way moms are and sons behaving the way sons behave. Mom is the first to worry. She is the last to sit at the dinner table and the first to wait up when her son comes home late.
I am reminded of the Continue reading
With all that goes wrong in this world, with all our faults as human beings, all the crimes we commit against one another and the disappointing displays in lack of humanity, with all the rainy days that crash the party, all the upsetting defeats, all the arguments that resolve nothing, the meaningless fights that ended meaningful friendships, with all the bills that come which I cannot pay, and all the taxes that come but I have no choice to pay, and with all the struggles I have, as well as the anticipation that anything which can go wrong, will go wrong at the worst possible time, I know there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel.
With all the scenarios in life being at its worst like a flat tire on your car without a spare tire in the trunk, no phone to call for help, no one stopping to help while you’re lost someplace in a town far from home and you have no idea where the next gas station is; with all those who pass Continue reading
Know this:
Know that even the smallest kind word can have the biggest impact on someone’s life.
Understand that you have the ability to inspire on a daily basis. And you do this all the time, but you somehow fail to see it.
Know that something you gave away, like something as simple as a quick and meaningless smile has the ability to be meaningful to someone else. This makes you a gift to those around you.
Same as misery is contagious—so is your spirit. Know that you being Continue reading
I tell you they missed it. They missed it all. . .
Kids today have no idea what music is. Even my generation was light on the subject. We were a little late, but at least we were there for the tail end of its magic. At least we knew what it meant to walk into a record store and feel lost in a sea of albums and choices. Whatever the choice or taste in music may have been, at least we had these choices. We had rows of albums and genres. Meanwhile, kids today have no idea what it feels like to scrape up whatever money they have and walk to a record store.
They hardly have a CD collection anymore, let alone understand what Continue reading
It is early and I am awake now. I have been for quite some time. I’m alive to see another sunset and watching the sky as it brightens slowly in different shades. The trees here are pretty now. The winds are certainly colder and the warm weather deck furniture that sits on my back porch has retired for the season and will hibernate in my cellar until next spring. I have been hearing the geese fly overhead. I like seeing them fly over in their V-shaped pattern. The fall is certainly here. The scenery changes each day and this suits me just fine
The caretakers of Old Wesley Chapel came by to secure the grounds and cut the grass one final time around the graves in the small cemetery. Old Wesley Chapel is diagonally across the road. I agree there Continue reading
