by - 0 comments

junkie

I try not to give in
but,
I see you wipe the temptation from your smile,
which inevitably calls after midnight to ask me something intriguing.

You see?

I am alone
and you are like the wind through the mane of white velvet horses,
charging through the sands in my spine,
and promising me the wealth of your temporary ponies.

This how the body folds
the mind slips into distance
hours escape
and the Lower Westside is dealt another loss.

It amazes me
the way years pass ….and yet
you still wipe the temptation from your grin as if to say,
“I’m over here.”

Man…
20 years clean
and he died as if he never stopped.

“What do you expect? He was a junkie….he asked for it.”

Believe me when I tell you

…..no one asks for this

 

 

by - 0 comments

an old piece written for a fallen friend

You slipped away from us and like a child of winter,
and found yourself in the conclusion of an ultimate hibernation.
Sleeping beneath the lifeless drapes that cover your windows,
your eyes were like tiny symphonies that stole light from the prospect of truth

 (Only, you never knew it)

It seemed as though the grin you kept was sharp
Like a knife….
and I suppose it cut too deeply,
sinking into the flesh Continue reading →

by - 0 comments

Sunday morning prose from the tattooed minister

On a day when I was lost:

I stood on a pier not far from the piers I would go to as a child.
I had been there before, but I was blind then,
or maybe I was too young to see.

It was as though I saw the ocean for the first time.
The sun beamed down and danced between the rippling waves.
I saw something in myself; a reflection, perhaps.
I felt a personal resurrection, and though I Continue reading →

by - 0 comments

testing the waters (junkie stories)

I watched a man’s eyes slowly withdraw when he moved the plunger down on the needle in his arm. His expression pulled back; like something warm had delicately massaged the inside of is mind and bathed him from reality.
I thought of how many times I said, “That would never be me.”
But there I was; crouched in Continue reading →

by - 0 comments

about healing

I made the poorest decisions at my weakest times. I did not have the benefit of strength or better judgment—all I had was an empty heart. I had an empty room filled with my regrets, and an empty answering machine glowing in red double-zeroes.
My cell phone was quiet, and other than the random junk mail and bills, my mailbox was empty. I had reached another bottom

In a fit, I thought Continue reading →

by - 0 comments

While on probation….

I sat on a steel folding chair near the men’s room in the back of the Nassau County Probation Department. Around me, the delinquents of our society waited for their names to be called by their probation officer.
The officers appeared from a doorway beside the reception desk, often holding a plastic cup for urine samples and directing, “Come with me.”

Sitting away from the others, I watched the Continue reading →

by - 1 Comment

Late night prose from the overtime shift

If you do not know your own worth
…….then you do not know what you are giving away.
And if you do not know what you are giving away
…….then you cannot be sure if the people you offer yourself to
are deserving of what you give them.

Understand?

You need to see yourself as more than just a vehicle.
You need to know you are more than body
…….you are a beacon
You are the light, and light in its truest form is purity.

Know this:
Know that your words have value
Know that your time is worthy,
and so is the care you so freely give away.

Remember Matthew 7:6
“Do not give what is sacred onto dogs, and do not cast your pearls before swine,
for they will trample them under their feet
and tear you to pieces with them.”

Do not spoil your donations because they are sacred
and once they are gone
they are as irretrievable as sand falling through the bottom of an hourglass
…….and you will be nothing more than under-appreciated

Or worse

…….disregarded