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never quit

There is always someone anxious to say, “You can’t do it.”
There will always be someone to say, “Don’t bother. It will never work,”
or they’ll tell you, “There are a million people out there doing the same thing as you.”

They’ll say, “There’s someone out there doing it longer and better.”
And then they’ll say, “I just don’t want to see you get your hopes up.”
They’ll explain, “I don’t want to see you fail.”
But that’s bullshit….

Sifting through divorce, I went to a weekly therapy session and opened myself up to the idea of change and improvement. I followed suggestions, and along the way Continue reading →

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reasons

White sand tumbles into the undertow
as chemical moves through the blood machine.
Next is the chemical reaction.
Your body changes from an imperfect paradise and the mind detaches from all of its weight.

Your, “all too often,” thoughts submit to the sudden change, and then they wash away into the sea of forgetfulness.
(and that’s good)
There is no conflict here. There is no struggle.
Upon entering, the blast of euphoria smooths the sharp edges and dulls them into Continue reading →

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Last Night’s Lesson

Confidence is never loud, but it does speak in different volumes.
It comes in different shapes, colors and size,
and it wears different clothing.
It is never frightened to answer questions.
It never feels challenged and it never needs to debate
or argue.

Confidence does not need to be convinced or sell itself.
It does not sway in victory or loss.
It is consistent.
Confidence is the ability to listen.

Continue reading →

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Working man’s Sunday

My job is not a clean one. Most days, I scrub my hands as hard as I can but the dirt stains my fingerprints. My work is mainly geared towards the heating, ventilation, and air conditioning in a commercial office building. There is also pluming work for the bathrooms and tenant spaces, and then on occasion, I work with electricity.
According to local fire laws, buildings of certain Continue reading →

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Ten

We walked through the empty sands during a cold morning on the first day of the New Year.  My daughter and I were alone and the sun was bright. The tide was on its way in and the waves curled into the shore, crashing and echoing into the surf and then tumbling over the broken clam shells before returning them to the ocean.

I held onto her hand, which was half Continue reading →

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pill bottles

So, I come from a generation of excess.
But then again….so did you
I was raised on the idea of more, and if one was good
then two is better, and if two is better,
then four must be incredible,
right?

Blue pills pass through me
and the machine softens the membrane
to enact the perfect ensemble
of mind, body and soul       (So I can rest)

The sound of Continue reading →

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Sunday morning coffee prose

I never had a grandfather, at least not one that I met.
I only heard stories, and when I did, I felt as though I missed out on something…
See, life moves on regardless to whether you or I agree. Otherwise, if decisions were left up to us it would never rain. Traffic lights would never turn red, and snowstorms Continue reading →

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sober prose

1)

I remember you well.
I was young then and early in my sobriety. We used to walk from the meeting near 31st St over to 5th and 33rd.
I talked. You mostly listened.
You laughed and told me, “You’ll get it, someday.”
And by get it, you were talking about that thing they call serenity.

 You once told me about your Continue reading →

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poem about temptation

The beast in my imagination has changed throughout the years.
He has changed his clothes and the way he speaks.
He switched his language and altered his scream to the sound of perfect whispers.
The beast in my imagination has matured; he changed his game
and learned how to disguise his tricks

Some think the beast is worse when he growls or shows his teeth.
But I don’t. I think he is strongest when he smiles
That’s when I know something is in the mail
It means something is on the way.
It means I lost my step, and the beast in my imagination
found a different way to spread his wings.

My beast is like the serpent in The Garden of Eden, always suggesting, and always questioning the truth with doubts and curiosity.

“The fruit from that tree must be really good if it’s forbidden.
You should taste it,” he says.
But I’m not supposed to, I tell him.
“Whose gonna know?” he laughs.
“There’s no one here but you and me…..”