It was hard to see yourself as blessed….I get that.
Your eyes saw what they saw and your heart was caught in the conflict.
Am I right?
They say, “It is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” That’s from Mark 10:25
But you were not rich. I’m not rich either, but we both knew what it meant to serve two masters.

We’re the same you and me
…..too afraid to change
too afraid to let Continue reading →

Here I am,
Another night on the clock and another night across the bridge from the place I call home.
I’ve been thinking….
eventually the seeds I plant will grow. Maybe not all of them, but some will. So long as I keep moving, or keep doing, something will happen.

I say this because long nights at work tend to get quiet. I sit in an office and watch the clock. I wait for the jobs I oversee to finish, and then I sleep for a few hours.
I do this because each hour I put on the clock adds to another seed in my garden. And someday, I’ll be able to watch it grow.

This was the time of year when Charlie Brown’s television special came on. As a little kid, I put on my pajamas and stayed up to watch, “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.”

….And I remember it well.

Pretty soon, the decorations will change from Halloween to Thanksgiving. I like that …but then again, I like to eat, so any holiday based on food is a good one.

I never grew up with Christmas. I was on the other team, so to speak, and the other kids would tell me, “Santa doesn’t go to your house because you’re Jewish.”

And because I was Jewish, we never decorated our Continue reading →

There was a movie about a dying man that hired a nurse for her looks instead of her nursing ability.

I get that.

There are times when I feel overwhelmed. There are times when the stack of bills is too high…..

Everything seems like its breaking apart, and my courage to change the things I can has become weak.

But a smile helps…

When my daughter was much younger, I was going through financial hardship. I recall sitting at my desk, feeling hopeless, and worrying about the things I could not change.

My little girl walked into the room and Continue reading →

Months into my stay on the farm, I sat with a group of fellow lunatics and complained about the establishment. At the time, there was a counselor in the room.
This was his group…
He leaned on the rear two legs of his chair with his hands clasped around the back of his neck. I recall the way he rocked back and forth with an arrogant smirk on his face.
“Well, if you’re so angry then why don’t you tell us about it?”

Danny was a counselor in name only. To me, it seemed he enjoyed Continue reading →

Today is Sunday, October 27

Though there is no reason for me to be up before the sunrise,  my body is used to an early schedule.
As I stood from my bed this morning, Brody the Dog looked at me. His ears perked and his head tilted.
He looked curious, as if to wonder, “Where is he going?”
But even Brody the Dog likes to sleep in on Sundays. Instead of joining me downstairs, Brody repositioned his head, curled back into a ball, and then closed his eyes.

The rest of my house sleeps as well, which leaves me in the company of quiet.
I like that…
I like the bright blue light on my coffee machine. I speak Continue reading →

I lay on a black-tar roof, looking at the moon above Manhattan.
My back is against a brick wall.
My legs are stretched out and slightly apart.
Below me, the city moves.
Inside, my mind wanders.

Maybe there’s something to this, you know?

We are on the verge of winter, but yet, the summer was just here.
It seems as if I blinked and women changed Continue reading →

I say people never know what they are capable of until the situation arises. I found this to be true last night.
Months ago, I sat in a classroom, half-listening, and the only reason I sat there was because my bosses made me go. The instructor went over the material; she placed dummies on the ground, and then she handed out literature.
“I’ll try to keep it interesting,” she promised.
“The sooner we all get this down, the sooner we can all get out of here.”
At that point, most of the class stopped answering their emails from their cellular devices. We put our things away and then went over the necessary steps to learn and preform CPR.

We went over different scenarios; we did our own role play, Continue reading →

Since writing never paid too many of my bills, I go to work every day like the rest of the world. I have my morning routine, as well as a healthy love for the coffee gods.
After the sound of my alarm clock, I rub the sleep from my eyes and wash my face. I brush my teeth. Then my body turns automatic and somehow knows which way to go.

Like so many others, I am at the commuting mercy of The Long Island RailRoad. I board the train into Manhattan, find a seat, and then I wire music to my ears.
The music is important. Otherwise, I find myself listening to the static of inconsiderate people on their cell phones. I use music to drown the chatter of people that talk too loudly.
Instead of listening to useless noise, I wire music to my ears, tune out the loudness, and sink into my 47 minute train ride.

As I write to you, Continue reading →

It’s strange to think about how long ago that was. It was late October and snow had begun to fall in Upstate New York. The sky was gray and the roads were mostly empty. I was sitting in the back seat of a van, heading quietly down Route 17 with a bag of my clothing at my side, and a reformed junkie to drive me to my new home.
He tried to calm my obvious nerves by insisting, “I think you’re going to be fine.”
“I’ve heard good things about this place,” he told me.
That was 24 years ago….

24 years ago, I was driven down a dirt Continue reading →