She’ll be ten this month…
I remember when her bottom fit in the palm of my hand, and her head would rest on the inside of my arm, just below the elbow.
She had tiny, little ears, a little nose with almond shaped eyes, and little round face.
She was perfectly flawless.
Her hair was very light and thin. She mostly slept, in the beginning.
And of course she ate and she messed her diapers.
This seems as though it was yesterday…
It must have been yesterday. Yes, I think it was.
It was yesterday; she put her entire hand around my pointing finger, and she was content to hold on to it.
It had to have been yesterday.
She looked up while lying on her back inside of her crib….and she smiled, because she saw my face.
Her skin was so soft. She was so precious and delicate.
Her tiny eye lashes were long. Her smile was unlike anything I had ever seen before, and when she slept in my arms, I would close my eyes and inhale the scent of her powdered skin.
I never smelled anything like that before…..
I admit I was frightened.
I was scared of doing something wrong, or hurting her.
I assume this is when I learned what it means to be gentle.
I only wish I did not feel as intimidated as I did. I was unsure of myself.
I worried, “What if I’m a bad dad?”
“What if I do something wrong?”
If I could say anything to any new dad, I would say this; do not be frightened.
Do not feel overwhelmed or intimidated. Do not succumb to the worries because they will only subtract from the perfection of life, which You created.
Mothers often claim, “I know my child because they came from my body.”
But as a father I say, “Never forget who put them there.”
If I could say anything to a new father, I would say, “There is no creation more exceptional than the birth of your own child.”
So lean in, hold on, and never look back.
It was only yesterday; she spoke her first words and took her first step.
And now, here I am.
I wish I never blinked. I wish I never missed some of things I took for granted.
Here it is; ten years have slipped by. She has her own friends now.
She has her own personality.
She is a girl now, but girls grow into women, and someday….
that’s exactly what she’ll be
no matter how old she gets, or how big; no matter where she goes or what she does. She will always be my little girl.
She will always be the first to ever thaw my heart, and the first to show me that I am capable of creating something beautiful.
And if I can create something that beautiful, then I must be beautiful too.