And ah, here it comes.
Someplace I’ve never seen before
but only heard of
or maybe dreamed about at some point . . .
San Diego California, the sunrise, the beach,
the fact that I earned this trip on my own steam
and on my own merit.
The West Coast is what happens
when I keep my plans together
and set my distractions to the side.
I mean, sure, it’s easy to give in.
It’s easy to notice the frustrations,
to say, “This isn’t working,” or “This person isn’t helping,”
or blame myself
when something goes wrong
or doesn’t fit.
It’s easy to lose sight of goals
and misinterpret the surrounding atmosphere.
It’s easy to allow the interference of people, places, and things,
It’s even easier to internalize blame
or claim responsibility for the problems of life,
which are beyond my control.
I can slip. I can fall.
I can find a thousand excuses why I should quit
but I can’t give up
until I pull off my trick
(which is ongoing)
I have come to the understanding of this:
there is no failure unless we believe in it.
There are setbacks.
There are accidents and incidents
but there is no coincidence.
There are needs for adjustments and unexpected changes.
There are times when circumstances are unfortunate
but endurance is key
Those who quit do not endure, they just give in,
and that can’t be me,
But soon, I will be up high, flying from my spot to their spot,
interacting in the pocket
and watching someone’s life change
right before my eyes.
I have learned that I am only part of a process.
I am responsible for this and this alone.
I am not part of the outcome
because outcome is not up to me.
All I can do is give what I have,
dot my i’s and cross my t’s,
and pay attention to my effort
because the rest is beyond me.
The beach, the balance, the calm smooth feeling
breathing in and out and then ah,
the removal of past events from the mindset
and the redemption of past experience
to resurrect a new lease on life;
to wipe away that which no longer exists
and to create a new outlet,
to teach, to help,
This is what happens when I keep sight of my goals.
By focusing on my plans and my strategies
By allowing me to be deterred by the word, “No,”
regardless to numbers or statistics
or the news we hear or social medias opinion on us,
on addiction, on mental illness
and the fact that people can and do get well
and to the untruth that mistakes can render us irredeemable,
I have been picked to be part of a program
which creates personal redemption;
I find myself at the doorstep of anew achievement.
I’m not there yet. But I will be soon
Don’t worry though.
You’ll be with me.
You always are~