I am thinking now of a time, sitting on an airplane, heading from one side of our country to another. I am reclining back to a comfortable flat position. The stewardess had just kindly offered me a hot towel, which I accepted of course, with thanks.
There is a musician nearby, sitting with some of his entourage, and flying back from his hometown in Jersey. He explained that he was heading back to the West-coast life, which he built for himself with his talent and a guitar. I said nothing to him though—although, admittedly I was an excited fan, I was also here to accompany someone to their previous life with help to create a new one.
It is different now. The way I view the world has certainly changed. The way I see myself is also different. The way I look at people has changed too but this change is good.
Either way, change is an inevitable fact of life. Change is law. We all know this. Besides, change is an impossible law to break.
If this were say, a younger version of me, for example, say this was before I knew about my passion; or, if this was before I knew what I wanted, maybe I wouldn’t believe this could be me. I would have never pictured me, sitting comfortably in business class and making my way out to a place I only dreamed of.
Los Angeles was always a dream to me. Even the two words and how they fit together sounded beautiful. Los Angeles was a dream that I never thought much about or expected to see. Yet, there I was heading out again.
I was in the airport once before. This was for a layover though. I never had the change to go outside and taste the air of a California breeze. I never saw the sunset from the hills.
All of this had changed though. I was flown back and forth a few. I was here as a specialist.
Regardless to my connection with the client; I made it out on my own. I didn’t have the same talent as the man with the guitar, and no, I didn’t have his mansion either. Still, I was doing something I never dreamed of, which is where my change came in.
If held by my own limitations, there are things I would never do or dare to dream about. If held by my doubts, there are certain experiences that would have never happened to me. The same thing can be said about my old mistakes or the wreckage of my past decisions.
I would have limited myself to living my life a certain way. And by the way, all mistakes are old mistakes. Just so you know. Unless we keep making them. Then they become new mistakes.
There was a morning when I woke up sunrise, which, of course those that know me can understand this. I am now and will always be a fan of the sunrise.
One in particular was amazing to me. I was standing outside the hotel. The sky was changing overhead, —and I watched the orange heavens take on like a backdrop across the L.A. scene. The palm trees looked black in the contrast of the sky’s first light. I was on the phone with a group of mine that was three hours ahead. I called to let them know where I was and that I missed them.
God this was beautiful. Not just the scene but the entire setting was perfect. I made my way to something I never thought would be possible.
Of course, there is another dream of mine that hopes to be out to L.A. for a different reason. Maybe, like say, flying out for one of my stories. That would be nice.
The morning was so still and so quiet. The air was warm and meanwhile, my friends and family back home were cold because wintertime takes on a much different meaning in New York.
thankful for this. I was grateful for this moment in particular. I was outside
of a hotel, standing in a place that I thought I would never see.
This was perfect.
I fast forward to now and where I find myself at this minute. I am thinking of a man at bat in a baseball game, which of course, his aim is to hit the ball out of the park, each and every time.
Sometimes, he misses. Sometimes, he tips the ball or he hits a foul ball. Sometimes, he swings hard and strikes out. His goal never changes though. The man at bat swings for the fences every time. This is what I do. I have to swing for the fences.
In the book Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor E. Frankl quoted Nietzsche with , “Those who have a ‘Why” to live can deal with almost any ‘How’.”
Frankl was a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp. I’m not sure what he saw or ‘How’ he survived (that’s what the book is about) but either way, my search for meaning has changed. I have changed too.
Here I am though, sitting in my loft as I write this to you, waiting for the sun to appear so I can watch the sky change and start my day.
I guess not everything changes. My love is still my love. I am me and you are still you. I am thankful for this.