I must never lend myself to the ideas that just because I am hurt or tired, or just because something did not (or will not) go my way, and just because something I invested deeply, heart and soul in, but yet the outcome fell to pieces before I reached my goal, I cannot lend myself to the idea that, “This is it!” and it’s over.
I cannot give in or feed the dishonesty that comes from the internal whispers of insecurities that ask, “What if I never get this chance again?”
There is a path I am on. It turns sometimes. And sometimes my path turns unexpectedly. Sometimes I feel like I’ve hit a wall and come to a dead-end. Sometimes, I work so hard; I put hours into my craft but due to something beyond my control, my craft takes on damage that seems unfixable.
In times like this, I have to learn to depend upon my tools. In times like this, I have to reach into my repertoire, and dig into my ability to continue.
I have to find my art and my passion because above all, they link me to my ability to regain my composure and teach me that I can, in fact, overcome any obstacle in front of me.
I am building this trick of mine. I have been working on this behind the scenes, like a detailed model, piece by piece, and so delicately and gently connecting one piece at a time —but sometimes, life is unexpected. Sometimes, life falls apart.
Sometimes, I break. Sometimes the trick I’ve been working on has a setback—and it hurts. It honestly hurts.
Sometimes, I wonder if any of this will ever work out. I wonder if my trick will ever face the day when I can unveil my craft and say, “Tada!”
The one thing I know is quitting can become habit forming. Of all things I know to be true, giving in and giving up can become habit forming, —and when all else fails, when things are not my way, or when the pain sets in, when the sense of defeat hits me and the fear that I will fail or worse; when the fears set in that I will never reach my dreams, so therefore, I lend myself to the ideas of settling for a lesser value—from one to all, this becomes habit forming.
Whether my path changes or the roads I travel take me into unknown territories; before anything, I must not lend myself to the ideas that I am unable to find my way or change my pace.
Whether I am lost or afraid, in order for me to find comfort and find my way, I cannot allow me the misdirection of my self-conscious concerns that tell me, “Now we’ll never find our way.”
The craft is
mine. The trick is mine too. If I am to pull this off, then by any means, I
must never lend myself to an idea that degrades or wastes my devotion.
In order to build my craft (which, essentially, my craft is me,) I must not and cannot ever give myself to the ideas that steer me away from my dedication.
Like you or anyone else in this world; I have suffered losses. I have lost time. I have lost friends. I have lost opportunities and I have lost blood, sweat, and tears in my efforts to make my way onto the center stage and pull off my trick.
I have encountered life. I have seen what self-sabotage and self-destructive thinking can do. I have fallen to habits like quitting, or like giving up, and more to the point, I have given myself to the ideas that I might not ever achieve my dreams.
I have gone to places in my mind where I entertained the internal narrative that puts me down. I am my own worst critic. I am also my own worst enemy at times.
But of all things, I can also be my own best friend. The choice is really mine. I can rebuild and build me up or I can continue to cut me down and destroy my hopes and dreams.
Either way, the choice is mine
Anything we do repeatedly can become a habit. So can getting back up when we fall; so can trying again, so can hard work, and so can the ability to overcome—they can become habits too.
My routine says everything about me. This defines how I treat myself. And how I treat myself gives me the ability to look to overturn the unfortunate things in life. This my friends is art at its best!
If I allow myself, I can correct and redirect myself towards a new direction at any given moment.
If I allow me the chance, I can create a new platform.
If my craft takes on damage or if my trick breaks while under construction—if I choose to look for the ways to improve, I can rebuild, repair, and regain my momentum at keep going until my trick is done..
I just can’t give up.
Even if it hurts and even if my trick seems too hard to pull, by any means, I just can’t quit because quitting can be a tough habit to break.
I see myself like you. I am exactly like you, which means I have to work for what I want, just like anybody else.
If I quit then I’ll never know how it feels to stand center stage, to unveil the magic of my effort and say, “Tada!”
Life comes with tragedies but nothing is more tragic then settling upon a dream and giving in for something below our value. Thankfully, we can avoid this kind of tragedy.
(if we decide to)
Reblogged this on Women Who Think Too Much by Jeanne Marie.
Amazing piece, enjoyed reading it!