Finding the Right Connection

There is a reason why finding our match is difficult. Synergy and cohesion between people is not a simple occurrence. There is a reason for this. There are people and personalities which we find magnetic and others that seem to repel or push us away. There is chemistry to us all and details which are up front in some cases and less obvious in others.
Situations can seem too good to be true. This happens. There are people we fit in with effortlessly. Meanwhile, there are others that lack the connection. Instead of finding a cohesive bond; never the twain shall meet. And this is really just a fancy way of saying neither of the two people will ever see eye-to-eye. And that’s fine. No, really it is.

There is a reason why love is not ready-made for everyone until they meet the right person. There is a reason why starting business and personal relationships can be difficult. There is a reason why we struggle and why we learn.
Life is not built to be easy. And neither are we. Neither is the path we take. Neither are the choices we make. In fact, life comes with complications. Life comes with the unfortunate introductions and moments of poor experiences. This is no accident. People are no accident. There is a reason for this because after dead-ends and the pitfalls; after learning where we don’t fit or who we connect with; we learn more about our personal synergy. We learn who we connect with on a stronger, beneficial level. And adversely, we learn who we should stay away from.

I don’t think billionaires reach their level of financial success because it was easy. I somehow doubt that Gates reached his level of success without any difficulty. I don’t believe partnerships come easy nor do I think champions reach their levels without experiencing the sensation of loss.

There is a necessary track which we take to get where we are. In some cases, I agree, the competition to reach the best level may seem easy for some people. Then again, this could be luck.
If something is so special that the project means everything; and what I’m trying to say is if something means the entire world; as in, this is our life and our dedication to this craft is so big that to quit or fail or surrender is no option and in no unspoken terms, to abandon this goal (whichever the goal may be) would be downright painful, then there is the need to find the right balance. We need to find the right means of support as well as the right people to share this with because our connectivity is crucial to our success.

I have been working with different people on different projects. I have been part of things, which I thought would take off. I have made connections that led me to be cautiously optimistic. I have reached levels of introduction that led toward meetings after meetings. I’ve been promised things and still, somehow, the connection was not secure. Put simply, the synergy was not fitting.

I have been let down. I have taken on the emotions of rejection and yes, I’ve gone back to the drawing board more times than I can count. I’ve been hurt. I’ve been spoken to in ways that were inappropriate and unprofessional.
I’ve found myself angry to the point where I was at a loss for words. There were times when I personalized this. There were times when I allowed this to distract me from my goals.  And I call this something very simple. I call this being human. I call this common because we all want to find our way.

On a beautiful day in October, amidst the craziness of a pandemic and during all the crazy restrictions and rules, I was chosen to officiate the wedding of an old dear friend. I was asked to officiate the wedding as well as offer the toast at the reception. I thought long and hard about this. I thought about the paths both the man and woman took. I thought about what it took them to get where they are. I thought about the blood and sweat and the heartache of past choices. I thought about the times in life when we shake our fist at the sky and wonder why life happens the way it does. I thought about the importance of our journey and the way it doesn’t always seem to make sense. However, in the end, all was revealed. 

These two went through bad relationships and troubled times. They dealt with bouts of frustration because of life and life’s unfair terms. They had bouts of loneliness and struggled with the doubt that they would ever find the right connection, which again, I use the word synergy. I refer this to the right connection. I use the word cohesion and I define this as a sense of coaction in which all parts mend together, seamlessly, to create The Big Picture. This was not easy. This was not simple by any means. However, once the two met and once the two connected as man and wife; suddenly, all of the pain and all of the sad moments became nothing more than fleeting from the past, which led up to them, together, as man and wife. All roads led to the great means to a brighter future. I choose to see life this way. I choose to acknowledge the setbacks and the pushbacks and the knockdowns we take as a means to reach a brighter future.

So yeah, I’ve made my share of missed connections. I’ve tried to fit. I’ve tried to find the right partnerships. This worked out well in some cases. Other experiences were less fortunate. And that is fine. It really is because I learned. I know that all of this has a purpose. All of what I do to build my craft and pull off my trick is valuable to me. Therefore, since this is my life and my dreams have value; I don’t have to settle or sell them to reach success. Not at all. To me, this means I have to keep working and adjusting until I find the right bonds and the right people to share my plans with.

Things will not always work well. There are going to be downfalls and pitfalls and setbacks. This is supposed to happen. We are supposed to fall down. This is how we learn to gain the strength to stand back up and keep on our feet.

The great Bobby Moresco said, “No one can ever stop you from doing what you love to do. It doesn’t mean anyone is gonna pay you for it. But no one can stop you.”

I think about this quote often. I use this as fuel to motivate the ideas that not all connections are meant to be. However, what I love to do and my passion for this is indisputable. And thus, I keep going. By any means necessary. Understand?

2 thoughts on “Finding the Right Connection

  1. I love the idea we have to make a lot if mistakes to learn esen what is fot us and not for us this goes extra for relationships. The hard times and mismatches really make us appreciate the happier more gentle moments and the times it really does flow because both of you love each other enough to make it work and work through the challenges..

  2. Relations with other people are sort of like chemical reactions. Sometimes you mix, sometimes you don’t… Sometimes you’re instantly friends with someone, someone else you hate as soon as you lay eyes on them.. it’s a mystery. Just the way life is.

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