The breeze is soft at the moment
and the previous rain made it easy
for the sunrise to take place
without the usual humidity
which has been with us
for the last few days.
The heat is more like an analogy
or at least to me,
I use the heat as a symbol or more
I use this as a metaphor that represents
the tension between us,
thick, like a blanket
when the humidity is too much
and intense enough to be cut with a knife
and sliced like the fat from a calf
at the slaughterhouse.
The heat can be pretty wild
I assume
And so can the beef between us
intense as hell itself
at times.
But ah, the sun
and the momentary minute of hopefulness.
I thank you.
Wednesday morning, midweek,
and for all intents and purposes,
I am one step closer to something.
Or, so I hope.
I am an inch closer to an answer
and another step closer to something bigger.
Or, so I pray.
I have no plans at the moment.
Or better yet, I have no plans
other than the plans that my day has for me,
which are nothing more
than the consecutive list of chores
which are all the things that come
like a list of demands to an otherwise
blue-collar employee
of which I call him, “Me.”
This is “a day in the life.”
or, so they say.
I have no reason to debate
or object at the moment.
I have no words to describe
the momentary calmness
or the slack that happens between breaths.
This is a moment when the body is still
after the inhale
and then the chest pauses
before I exhale.
Perhaps this is like the quiet before the storm
and despite the empty battlefield
or the grounds which are proven t
and show the devastation
from your emotional mortars
and the bombs that blew us apart, for now . . .
the world is at peace
and appearing beautiful.
All else is still.
The winds are kind enough this morning
and the morning is peaceful enough
that I do not feel the need to banter
back and forth
or fight with the everyday fights
and nor do I have the need to deal with
my mild to moderate enemies.
I exit my first strategy, which is
another way of saying
I left my home and made it out alive.
I managed to start my day
and escape the early part without injury.
I do not want to argue
because as it is,
I have enough enemies
both domestic and foreign or abroad.
Fighting of find another friendly casualty
makes about as much sense
as a man who cuts off his own nose
to spite his face
which, of course,
you and I have both done this before.
Often enough
and too many times.
No one told me that my body would react
the way it does.
No one told me that the physical and emotional
are so closely intertwined, whereas,
if I can not be better than I think
or feel better than I believe,
then how can I ever be anything
other than the bias of my assumptions?
Hence, I respectfully remove myself
from the bouts
and I humbly decline the invitations
for another rumble
because there is no more genius behind the riots
and no more reasons to risk my heart or my blood
like I’ve done before.
And, so
therefore and effective immediately
I am done with the usual talks about politics
and done with the need to commiserate
or share my contempt.
There is more to this place, I feel,
and more to me, more to you,
more to us, and there is more to life
than meets the eye.
so therefore, I open myself up
to the newness of something special.
I do this because I believe
And yes, foolishly too
but still;
I believe because if believing beats dying
than I would rather die trying to live
than live like I’ve been dying all along.
I see there is more to the big picture
and more to what we see than the picture itself.
I say this because I believe there is more
than the biased perception
and more than what’s in our mind.
It’s time to be open to what the Universe has to say
that is
if the universe is willing to speak to me
today.
I suppose I’ll have to look for “your” signs
and keep my hope intact.
Otherwise, my life support
will have to go back on life support
and for now
I just can’t have that.
So, lastly –
I understand the difference
between past and present.
I know the difference
between written and unwritten
and I know what happens
when our biased assumptions
get in the way
of letting something new take place.
I have no objections and no comments.
I have no reason to fight and argue.
I stand on a platform and wait for a train
to take me from here to there
and then I will take another
method of transportation
and shoot through a tunnel
like the blood through the veins
of New York City’s Subway system.
That’s the E train
to be exact.
I will arrive and return above ground
because after all is said and done;
today is just another day above the dirt
and like I said before
I have no plans other than the plane
my day has for me and my blue collar life.
Good morning, Destiny and Fate.
I have some feedback for you,
that is . . .
if you care
or if you are even open to the discussion.
Then again, the day is young.
I’d rather start out strong and accept “What is,”
than make plans with you again
and be laughed at
when my worst assumptions come true
Come for me
I can take it
and if I can’t
No worries
you and I will have another chance tomorrow
because like we said to each other
tomorrow is one day closer to something
(or, so I hope)
for you, my love
The Written Addiction 