To each their own and there we go,
each of us, going off in our own direction
and heading out,
on our way, separate from the crowd and unlike the others
because unlike the masses,
people like us want more than just another trip around the sun.

I know I do . . .

I want more than the usual and more
than the mediocre blasts you see on social media
to act out loud
or to act as if and say
hey world, look at me –
please accept me
or tell me
I’m good . . .

I walked alone during the early morning sunrise,
knowing full and well that walks like this
would be coming to an end.
We were approaching summer,
the year was 2015

I knew that while my reason for this trip
was to settle the affairs of my dying Mother,
that times were moving and that, in fact,
times must, will and do change.

I’m not sure when this was.
A long time ago, I suppose.
This must’ve been
but when, I don’t remember.

It must have been a realization which came in waves,
like the rides, rolling in and changing the face of the sands,
eroding the coast of life
and redefining the way I saw things.

There’s a word I hear all the time.
It’s a thing too, a way to be,
and maybe even a lesson for others or an artform of living.
The word is called selfless
As in, no concern for self
It’s not about “Me.”
There’s no “I”
Selfless
As in no need for repayment

As in without regard for self or reward
As in unconditional, no strings attached.
No pat on the back, no award ceremonies
or any kind of accolades.

So, I have been me for a very long time. In fact, I have been me, all of my life, since the day I was born.
Surprising, right?
I know . . .
It’s a shocker.

However, I have also lived my life a certain way for a very long time and with no regrets on this choice, I understand that my choice of living is something that suits me.

I’m not ready to let this journal end, at least not yet. But more importantly
and more for you to understand, this is my reach from a place here in fact,
I have either been held captive or been set free.

In part, my efforts are to explain ideas and thoughts and with hopes
to create a vision or something you can touch or hold and understand, I began
this journey to write my way into your heart and mind,
to help me understand life and, along the way, I hope to help people understand life,
which is currently going on, all around us.

Can’t you see it?
It’s right outside our door . . .
Life ~

(Written respectfully for the McGinley Family)

Thank you for teaching me –

I come from this. I am this and because I am,
I want to be this
especially to the best of my ability because
behold the worker,
the doer, the prime mover of the world
the one who aches and hurts yet
regardless of time or the weight upon their shoulders
because of them,
the gears of this world still turn because, in fact,
it’s us, the breed of us,
the workers and the working-class
who turn the wheels
and make this factory go round

I want to be this –

I would like to begin this with my hat in hand,
humble as I can be and with all I have,
I want to thank the artists who’ve taught me
inspired me, opened my eyes
to allow me the understanding
that it’s alright for me to be who I am
and that in my form
I do not have to adhere to anyone’s expectations,
except for mine.

I am not alone
but . . .
it has taken my a long time to understand
what it means to stand by myself

Be advised,
your words have more power than you think.
Be aware that you have more might
than you believe you possess,
and in your stance to fight back,
the remedies to your weakness are as follows:
if your will and intent can outweigh your fears and intimidations
you can withstand and endure anything.

You just have to keep this alive.
You have to keep this in mind because
I’m not going to lie, sometimes,
the fight is bigger than you think.
But that doesn’t mean
the fight’s not worthwhile –
because trust me
It is!

It was not the first time I had ever walked through electric doors
and motorized gates that shut with a loud slam
that sounded like a loud exclamation point,
which exclaimed about the absence of freedom.
Also, it was not the first time that I was escorted
or led through a hallway yet this time,
everything was different.

This time, I was walking through the hallways
and moving through the corridors to a specific wing
and led to a place in a correctional facility
as a specialist and/or quite possibly
a professional.