I ever tell you about my friend Abbie?
I met Abbey when I was about three years-old. This was when my family lived in Forest Hills, New York. We lived in a duplex apartment at 66th Road behind the Hollywood Bowl on Queens Boulevard. I was too young to remember much about the apartment. I remember brown, shag carpeting, which was in the upstairs corridor. I remember the blue walls in my bedroom, which was marked with crayons Continue reading
It was late in October.
Outside, the air smelled from fireplaces and wet leaves,
which had changed from green to colorful
and then fallen to the ground.
I could smell the oncoming months of cold weather,
but yet, I could smell the warmth of a life
that would no longer be lonely.
I knew little Continue reading
Tucked in Upstate New York mountains and hidden in the quiet anonymity of a small town with only a few homes, few business and fewer people, I found myself in a short-stay rehabilitation center.
The center was not as I imagined it would be. The place was not hospital-like in any way. However, there was a basic nursing staff. There were no medical doctors or medications, only counselors, and ex-drunks that chose a therapeutic career after their own successful rehabilitation.
We were in the middle of nowhere. I was the youngest patient, and as it seemed, I was certainly not the only patient undergoing treatment as forced condition by an outside source. Most of the men Continue reading
Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is the ability to respond in spite of our fears. I know this now because even in my bravest moments, I was still petrified.
I see my faith in a similar way. My faith does not come without doubt.
I have doubt, but yet still believe.
And though sad times and bad news comes for us all; I still believe in the heart of man. I still believe there is good in the world. And though I have prayers, I understand the answers Continue reading
A long time ago . . .
I walked through the door at the front of a room and head straight to a yellow plastic chair on a steel frame, which as well, was at the front of the room with its back to the wall. I faced a U-shaped bench that was made of dark-stained wood and stationed against the other remaining three walls. The floor was tiled with tiles that were once white, but age and foot traffic left the floor to seem worn and scattered with black streaks and sneaker marks.
It had been a long Continue reading
I never liked the dating scene, but after a failed marriage, I found myself back in the swing of it. I moved from a loveless home and sexless part of my life and settled into a small apartment with hopes for a potentially better future.
It was clear to me that a relationship was not an option. I was at the starting line of divorce; my papers of legal separation were freshly signed, my head was filled with too many concerns about finances and I questioned my faults as a man as well a father.
Aside from Continue reading
We started our trip early yesterday morning. I pulled up to Vinny’s house at exactly 8:00, which is what we agreed upon. Chad came down from his upstairs apartment in the home across the street. His eyes slightly squinted from the brightness of an already hot sun. Angelo and Carmine were ready and both excited for the day we had planned. Angelo and Carmine are good boys.
With Angelo being the oldest at the age of nine, there is Continue reading
There are two reasons why I write about my past and my addiction. The first reason is to raise awareness and bring an understanding to a misunderstood sickness. I write for those who feel they are alone and for those who cannot understand why someone would behave as an addict or alcoholic.
The second reason is so that I see exactly who I was. I write about who I was to detail where I came from. This is important to remember the facts of my story because they not only show the span of my growth; they also value Continue reading
Back when I was a little kid, The Old Man told me,
“All that television you watch is gonna rot your brain.”
At the time he told me this, I was in the den watching cartoons.
He told me, “I never watched television when I was your age.”
And by mistake, my less than smart words left my mouth before I had time to think about them. “That’s because they didn’t have television back when you were my age, Pop.”
The Old Man’s eyebrows folded down with his left eyebrow raised slightly above his right. The crunched lines on his forehead expressed the anger which was about to become painfully obvious as he screamed the famous words that come from an angry parent.
He shouted, “GO TO YOUR ROOM!” and as ordered, I retreated to my bedroom with the door closed, and of course, the small, black and white television that sat near my bed was turned off.
And by black and white, I feel I should explain to some of my younger readers that the television set, itself, was not black and white. The television set was gray . . . it was the picture that was black and white.
(This is what we watched before they invented that thing we call color)
My Old Man was Continue reading
“Don’t go,” she said.
“Stay,” she told him.
“What for,” he asked.
“There’s nothing left for us to talk about.”
Marie stood from the love seat in her small studio apartment. The lights were dim and she was dressed comfortably. The curtains were halfway opened at the only window in her apartment that hung above a small round table that sat against the wall at the edge of a little, eat-in kitchen.
There were four Continue reading
The Written Addiction 