The problem isn’t the thought; the problem comes when thinking overwhelms the mind. Suddenly, the outside influences penetrate the mind. They seep in and infect the system. Next the defense mechanisms kick in. The fear takes hold and the survival machine moves into position.
The problem is not the thought. The problem is the outside has seeped inside. The problem is the uncontrollable sources of people places and things have taken hold. The problem is the uncontrollable has become in control and then the mind loses control.
And almost always, someone comes along and says, “Just let it go.”
And you wonder if they even get it. You wonder if they understand because if they really understood, then they would never say something like, “Just let it go.”
So do they get it?
Most likely, the answer is no.
But you get it. You see it. And you feel it.
And in the end, this is the most important part.
I have heard people say, “You just have to learn to clear your mind?”
But how does one clear their mind?
What does that even mean?
Is this even possible?
Truth is the mind holds all of our memories. The mind holds feelings which is the end result of our experiences and recollections. This is where our personal biases are born. This is where opinions come from. This is where our mind calculates math, over and over again. This is not where fact lives. This is not where logic and strategy play. No, this is where thought spins the anxiety machine. This is where emotion takes hold of the Code Red button and creates panic in our system.
In order to clear the system we need to change the system.
Think of it this way, basic habit is a behavioral pattern has been repeated so often that it becomes almost involuntary.
This is when the body knows the pattern better than the mind does. This is autopilot at its best. This is no different from when a doctor hits the knee with that little triangular rubber mallet and the leg kicks.
Essentially, I see our habits the same way. Life is like that little triangular hammer at the doctor’s office and our response is our reflex.
Thought happens. Emotion happens. And then someone comes along and says, “Just let it,” . . . as if it were just that simple.
But when the feelings hit, they hit us hard. When the sadness hits, it hits us hard. And when the feelings of powerlessness come in; when the feeling of uselessness or helplessness come along; this hits us harder and harder each time.
If we are lucky, we have someone to talk to. If we are really lucky, we have someone to talk to that actually cares.
I say this because I heard a funny statistic. I heard someone say, “80% of the people don’t care what you are going through, so they don’t want to listen, and the 20% that will listen are just glad it’s not happening to them.” So stop telling everybody your problems
Rather than talk about the problem, make a change in your system. Replace thought with action. Do not stay down. Do not submit and do not quit. If you suffer a fall, remember something, do not stay down too long because the longer you stay down the harder it is get back up again.
We cannot let tragedy destroy our life.
We cannot let our mistakes define our life.
At some point, we have to come to the understanding that we are the only ones that are supposed to dictate and determine the direction in our life. This job does not belong to anyone else.
This is ours
The truth is I will always have to deal with life on life’s terms. I will always have to deal with my mistakes. And no matter how far or how fast I try to run away from them, no matter where I go, there I am. And no amount of hiding or pretending will ever change this fact.
Pain is common. Tragedy is part of life. Rain happens. Adversity happens. Catastrophe happens. Pain is common. So is disappointment, So is discomfort. So is sickness. All of these things are common. However, to you, all of these things are unique. And they are unique.
They are unique the same as you are unique.
It is important, however, to be mindful of our perception. It is important that we understand not everything we see, think, or feel is accurate.
One of my favorite perception exercises is to ask, “What color is the sky?”
Naturally, most will answer “Blue.”
Now, what color would the sky look like if we put on a pair of rosy red.
Most would answer rosy red on this and they would be right.
Following this so far?
Good . . .
Now, let’s say you put on a pair of yellow-tinted sunglasses and looked up at the blue sky. What color is the sky now?
Think about this for a second . . .
Yellow sunglasses, blue sky, what color is the sky now?
Some might answer green but the answer is still blue; however, because we see things a certain way, and since yellow and blue make green, most people answer the sky is green.
But the sky isn’t green. The sky is blue.
However, our perception has been altered. This is the same thing that happens with opinion. Certain factors will lead us to see, think, or feel in a certain direction.
Much of our life has been programmed by our experience and our perception. Often times, our subconscious programming takes the place of our own free will.
If given the freedom to choose the life we want to have instead of our programmed life, what would have to happen for us to make this so?
What would we need to happen for us to break away from our own subconscious biases?
Instead of waiting for life to happen, what if we chose to make a change and be proactive instead of reactive?
I get it though.
Some days, things just don’t work out.
I get the fact that sometimes our past comes up and feels like it won’t let us go.
I get the fact that some days, it feels like we are drowning on our own little world.
We can’t breathe. The anxiety is too much. Some days, we find ourselves caught up in the mixture of our own insanity. And I get it. I really do.
I get that someone will come along and say, “Just let it go.” as if it were that easy . . . and I get the frustration that comes along with it.
Truth is eventually, something has to give.
Otherwise we break
And I don’t want to break anymore