Simple Coaching: Motivation

It is true. So many of us fall short of our dreams and live secretly or privately unsatisfied. It is also true that many of us fail to step forward. We fail to try or dare to risk the odds of disappointment.
I came across a quote this morning. I was listening to random motivational speakers so that I could A, improve my own life and B, learn more and improve my own motivational abilities.

I have come to the conclusion that all roads to betterment and wellness are paved along a similar direction. There are two major points, which is the same for any journey. There is a starting point, which is the here and now. And then of course, there is the finish line, which is the ultimate goal. Black and white, this is the simple idea of moving from point A to point B. There are several ways to package the ideas of how to achieve this. Either way, the ideas are all the same. If this is where I am now then how do I get to where I want to be?
However, I go back to my initial thought. It is definitely true. Many of us fall short. Many of us live secretly or privately unsatisfied and unfulfilled. We exist rather than live. We endure and we suffer the trade without ever receiving the returns of our dreams.
This is a life less fortunate.

While listening to random speakers this morning, I came across a quote by Henry David Thoreau. “Most men live lives of quiet desperation.”

I thought of this quote and how meaningful this is to me. I think of the times we never dared to step forward. I think of the times we pause or hesitate. I considered our reasons and our excuses. 
We want to step forward. We want to try. We want to give the world a shot but something holds us back, which causes us to fail before we try.

I can see how life gets in the way. Schedules can be a bitch. Deadlines are a bitch. Work can be demanding. I can see where compromise is not just necessary; it is unavoidable.
Life is a very real thing. Disappointment happens. Change happens. Circumstances beyond our control are part of life.
First and foremost, we need to be honest and realistic about our goals, plans, and our timeline. Our plans will take effort. Thus, we have to be prepared to put in the effort. Thus, we have to be mindful that not all is given and that choices might not always be attractive.

I go back to a time when I was living on a farm. Life was broken down to the simplest of terms. There was nowhere to run or hide in a place like this. I was remanded here, punished, and place here instead of a much worse legal institution, which to me, meant that I had no other choice.
The truth is I did have other choices. I could have refused the offer. I could have taken another option but the other options were less comfortable to me. They were certainly much less attractive. Put simply, I had other choices to consider. I just didn’t like the choices I was given.

I believe however, that living is a choice. I also believe we won’t always like the choices we are given.
I believe however, there is a difference between living and existing.
I believe there are people that live the life they have and there are people that live the life they choose.
This is the difference between living and existing.

Make no mistake; choosing to live life is a brave step. Do not minimize your strides or your struggle. Do not downplay your efforts.
The pain you feel and the strain, as uncomfortable as they may seem to be, will be paid back in full when the fruits of your labor come to fruition.

I agree when people say life is not easy. I agree when people say life is unfair. Life can be a struggle.
I accept this as a constant fact. However, in spite of the constant; I acknowledge the fact that I can do one of two things: I can move forward and continue or I can suffer the a loss and settle to retreat.

All too often, I see people allow their life to slip away from their own priority. I see them placing themselves last while others go first.
I have watched good people spiral down to a dark place because they never dared, never tried, and more accurately, they never believed they could achieve their dreams. so instead, they forfeited their desire and allowed themselves to sink into diminishing investments
In many cases, I have watched people slip down the hole, never even trying, never considering, and never believing in their own innate ability to be extraordinary. I have watched good and capable people wallow to their own lies and believe their insecure thinking.

The quote says, “Most men life a life of quiet desperation.”
I think this only slightly inaccurate due to gender.

I think most people live a life of quiet desperation. I believe all of us have a voice deep inside, which we seldom listen to. I call this voice hope, which can be frightening because the fear of disappointment is often painful when it comes to measures of the heart.

Why do we fail ourselves?
Is it the fear of no return?
Are we so attached to the outcome that if we fail to try because we’ve already fallen short before we’ve even started?

Simple coaching 101 here:
What is your goal?
Where do we start?
What stands in your way?
What needs to be done?
What resources do we need?
What education do we need?
How can we tie a plan together?
Most importantly, where’s the blueprint and what does it look like?

I am firm believer in the benefit of movement.
Assumption is often inaccurate; therefore, leave nothing open to interpretation.
We cannot be afraid to speak out. We cannot be afraid to ask for what we want.
We cannot be afraid of rejection, setbacks, pain, failures, or falling flat on our faces because in the end, the reward will be greater than we ever imagined.

Once we map out a plan, we need to prepare ourselves for the effort. This is where movement comes in. If we fail to move, act, or respond; then we need to look at why?

Is this because we are inherently lazy?
Is the effort too much?
Is this fear?

Laziness and apprehension and the anticipation of adversity can become insurmountable, which we fear; therefore we procrastinate because we’ve given in to intimidation.
Laziness and procrastination is an emotional symptom. This is not the problem. Instead, they are symptoms that result from the problem.

Maybe we are afraid to fail. Maybe we are afraid to come up short. Maybe we forget that effort alone against adversity or the overwhelming odds is already a victory.
Maybe it’s the finish line. Maybe we’re afraid we won’t cross it or if we do; maybe we’re afraid of being last or worse, maybe we’re afraid of being laughed at, exposed, humiliated, and seen as less than, incapable, inefficient, insufficient, and whatever else our fears can conjure up to keep us still.

Life takes effort. There is no getting around this. There will be growing pains. There will be changes. There will be times when it is tough to get out of bed.
There will be mornings when we wonder if any of this will pay off in the end. There will be times when we interpret others as against is or fake or condescending but at the end of the day, we need to keep one thing in mind. The only one that stares back at us in the mirror is us. At the end of the day, we need to come to a constrictive conclusion.

Overthinking and over-complicating does nothing to help our progress. I believe in an honest daily assessment. I believe in the separation of rational and irrational thinking. We need to split emotion from logic and side with fact instead of opinion.

If we need to vent then we have to vent. If it hurts, say it hurts. If we’re tired, rest, unless we can’t rest. And if this is so, take a deep breath, endure, and work as hard as you can without regarding the time clock every two minutes.

Call it out.
Do not be afraid to allow your dreams the voice it deserves; otherwise, the voice becomes nothing more than a faint little whisper that we try to keep quiet because deep down, we know we want better.
Deep down, we know we have dreams and the whispers we try to silence are just a reminder that we never dared to try.

We must not render us as useless or unable. We have to define our problems so we can make them possibilities and identify our obstacles to create our opportunities.
Beware of inaccurate fears and insecurity because this will often stop us before we try.
Identify our strengths.
Who is on our team? W
hat tools do we have and which tools will we need to build our ideas.
We need a plan.
We need a blueprint; otherwise, we’re building blind and opening ourselves up for an unnecessary disappointment.

I once told a close friend to be prepared to lift something heavy this way, if it’s light, then it’s a plus. If it’s heavy then you were prepared. This was in regard to a heavy situation in my friend’s life.
He prepared himself and pulled through.
This is what life is all about.

I believe with all my heart that my inner voice is my inner passion. This is my drive and my purpose. My goals and aspirations cannot and shall not be differed; otherwise, I will be like most that live their life in quiet desperation. And to me, that’s not living.

If you ask me, that’s just existing

and that’s just not what i’m looking to do

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