Before going forward with this explanation, I want to explain that the following is about me and the details of my thoughts and feelings and how they have interacted with my behavior throughout my life.
More than anything, I have always wanted to feel comfortable. I always wanted to feel the idea that if I fit or belonged and I have feel that idea that I was welcome. More than anything, I have always wanted to walk into a room and not feel as if I had to “Fake” something or “Force” something and Continue reading
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Injections (Revisited)
There I was, (figuratively speaking of course) and lost in an empty field with tall grass, bending, and swaying in the wind.
I was someplace else. I was in a long incredible dream, which I could somehow feel in my body. I felt myself drifting like a warm breeze, halfway in a nod, and slipping gently into this great new spiral I found near 134th street.
I was unaware and unconcerned with where I was or what I looked like. I wasn’t thinking about the Continue reading
About a Lesson
When you’re down at the bottom of your self-made hole and it feels like you’re flat on your back with no one around to help you up; there’s no place to turn and nowhere to run anymore because all of your old options either stopped working or the old remedies just keep you from feeling sick instead of feeling better —and when you are at the back-end of the outcomes and stuck in the wake of your aftermath and you find yourself wondering, “What the hell can I do now?” the only thing you can do is surrender to fact and accept your position. This doesn’t mean you’ve quit or that you give in. On the contrary, no, this just means you know who and where you are.
Way back when Mom was younger and Continue reading
Autumn Leaf
In time, the autumn leaf will crumble to earth and create a new tomorrow, which may take centuries, and all that surrounds us will change into different versions of life.
In time, the landscapes will change 
(and so will you)
In some ways, we are like an old piece of driftwood that floated across the ocean and washed upon shore.
The stories from our crazy days will fade and wash up someplace
(just like the driftwood)
Maybe we’ll Continue reading
From The Classroom: The cutting problem
Before I go on and explain or expose this to you, I want to first explain that this is what happened to me in my life. The thoughts and feelings I express are mine. I cannot say this is the same for everyone else or if others felt this same way, but I can say that throughout my years of recovery and while speaking with others who have been through similar struggles or acted out with similar behaviors, in several conversations, much of what I express was commonly relatable and understood. Therefore, I expose my history of cutting for others who Continue reading
From In The Classroom: Visions of Self
A few weeks back, I stood in front of a classroom and discussed the three different versions of self. I talked about the version we see, the version we want others to see, and the true versions of who we are. To put it simply, we are the perception of three different people. We are who we think we are. We are who we want to be. And we are who people see us as.
My experience has Continue reading
Fun with Fiction: Sessions From the Balcony
The Phone Call:
The phone rang at approximately 5:13am when her eyes opened and noticed the time on her alarm clock. First light had yet to show itself and the bedroom was dimly lit by a small soft white light that came from the hallway bathroom. Understanding the phone call was real and not a dream, she reached to stop the Continue reading
Lessons from Empowerment class
What lies beneath the lies?
We spent a lengthy time discussing the energy behind dishonesty in my last class. I asked a simple question with an obviously easy answer. “Why do people lie?”
In full disclosure, I chose to answer this question from my own personal standpoint. I have had more than my fair share of dishonesties in my life. In each of my dishonesties, the reason why I lied was to create an Continue reading
About Speaking in Schools
I look out at a roomful of young kids, bright-eyed, with their life still ahead of them; their dreams are this “Real thing” which has not been spoiled by age or outside opinion. Inside each and every one of them is a life just waiting to blossom. Ahead of them is a countless supply of tomorrows with only a limited supply of yesterdays behind them.
I see them. I see all of them look at me as I stand at the front of the classroom. I feel a pit in my heart. I feel a familiar sadness from my past. I feel an old feeling that comes from a time long ago when Continue reading
A Letter to the Relapsed
And sometimes you realize the only thing you can do is wait, —and waiting in times like this is a painful thing because (of course) we want the world and we want it now.
But no matter how fast we want something Continue reading
The Written Addiction 