Right now, the outside temperature is 5 degrees; the wind is west at 22 mph, and the skies are clear at daybreak.
There is frost on the window in my kitchen, which reminds me of a Norman Rockwell painting, and the heat from my furnace makes me wish I could stay home today.

I can hear the heavy Continue reading →

I see you trying to break free
and I am reminded of a winter fly
as it bounces against the cold window
on an otherwise sunny day.

Outside,
the cold would probably end the fly in minutes.
Inside, the sound of buzzing wings
changes tune whenever the fly bounces against the glass.

This is the part that reminds me of you…..
wishing you were on the other side of your reality,
and unaware of the glass between you and your freedom.

After all, the fly does not understand the concept of glass.
But you do.
The fly has no concept of love either.
But you do.

So figuratively,
maybe that’s the glass you hit.
Maybe that’s the barrier that keeps you captive.

It’s not that you’re in love

It’s the worry of who will love you if you leave….

As usual, I woke early and made my way to the coffee machine, which sits on my stove, and waits for me with a loving blue light. The blue light is a signal; it means all I have to do is place a cartridge in the machine, place a cup beneath the spout, and then I press the button to hear a rumbling, gurgling sound of coffee genius.

The cold weather did not affect my house. And though the windows in my back room tend to be drafty, I felt comfortable in my chair. I sat down in front of my trusty keyboard. Then I Continue reading →

I was you once. This is how I know behavior is not an accident…

There has always been a reason behind my madness. There is a reason why I speak and there is a reason behind the things I say.
Always.
The first reason behind my madness was awkwardness; then came confusion, anger, and the inability to express myself.
And that was Continue reading →

It was just before dawn on an early spring morning.
Outside, the cobblestone streets of SoHo glistened beneath the streetlamps after an overnight rain.
As I lit a cigarette, two cabs drove passed me on the corner of Broome and Broadway. I was still in my outfit from the previous night, only I looked Continue reading →

New Year’s Day:

At a time when I needed something most, I found an old bag of mine in a closet that I had forgotten about. And inside that bag was a white scarf that belonged to The Old Man.
It smelled like him…
I have not smelled anything like that in years, but at a time when Continue reading →

23 years ago today, I said goodbye to The Old Man for the last time….
After sitting by his bedside, my mother left the hospital for the first time in weeks. Once they hooked Continue reading →

There is too much flash in this new century. There is too much advancement in technology; too many apps, too many cellphones, and too many empty playgrounds.
There are too many ways to communicate, yet our communication with each other seems to be dwindling and left in the less personal hands of text messaging.

A young girl with a piercing in her lip looked Continue reading →

I sat in the back of a Greyhound Bus with hours of travel ahead of me and nothing else but time to consider my young life. I was trying to reconnect the good times and separate them from the bad.
In the fifth month of my early sobriety, I was heading home to say farewell to The Old Man.  By this time, the fog in my head was beginning to lift. I was less angry and more aware. I was learning about Continue reading →

I had another one of those dreams again. Everything seemed so real and so vivid….
After a violent act, I felt as though someone pulled the plug and I was funneling down a horrible drain.
There was no turning back or ways to apologize for what I did.
It was too late for that.
The damage was done and the blood on my hands became very real. Suddenly, the games I played were Continue reading →