I used to wonder about what the world looked like before I was born. Then again, it wasn’t until I was older that I came to a special realization. I came to notice that there was a time when my parents were young too. There was a time when they didn’t know who I was or what I would look like. Perhaps there was a time when they didn’t know that I would exist and that I would be part of their world. Or, maybe I was unexpected. Maybe I was wanted but at the same time, there was an idea that maybe their life would be easier if I was never born. I say this with the full understanding that at some point in life, parents were human too. I say this with the understanding that regret is felt by everyone, including parents.
Continue readingImagine the Action: The Presence of Self
I was thinking of a moment that seemed to have no other options. I was in a room “as they say” with no doors to the outside. Of course, I say this figuratively. I was at a place with no attractive resources. I came to a place where there was no exit, or at least, there wasn’t an exit that was attractive to me. I suppose that when there is no room left to fall, then there’s no room left to worry. This was it. This is the bottom. There was nothing left to add or subtract and the numbers dwindled down to one.
Me.
Imagine the Action: The Possible Impossibilities
To be honest, the idea of change was unthinkable to me. I say this before going forward but I say this with a purpose. I say this because I had lived a certain way for such a long time and to me, living any other way seemed impossible. I lacked the energy to change. I lacked the belief that I could change; therefore, I lacked the drive and the ambition to make a change.
I say this because this is my truth. I explain this as my truth; however, at the same time, none of this was true at all.
I only believed it was.
Imagine the Action: Off I Go
There was a time when I would take a trip up to the roof of the building at work. I was high up and above the streets down on Lexington Avenue. I would face the east and look up and down the eastside of Manhattan, New York City. I would allow myself to absorb the quiet of the wind. I would allow this to drown out the sounds of the street below me. So peaceful.
There was no more noise from the hustle of fast-moving cabs, the traffic or the honking horns that beep at midday pedestrians who jaywalk or run through the crosswalks in a hurry.
Imagine the Action: Free From Yourself
There was someone who told me, “Kid, the only way ‘To it’ is through it.” What this person really meant is in the case of finding our way or having the life we want to live, there is no easier or softer way. By the way, the idea of finding an easier, softer way is not mine. These are not my words or an original thought. No, this comes from chapter 5 in a book that we use in the 12-Step world. The chapter is called “How it Works” and in short, the meaning of this chapter is the only way “To it” is through it.
Think about this for a second . . .
Continue readingWhy Do We Argue?
There really is no reason for us to fight or argue. And yet, we do. We argue about everything. We argue about politics. We argue about prices. We argue about the difference between sauce or gravy. Come to think of it, I have seen people literally get upset about the direction the toilet paper roll was placed on the handle. And I get it. Everybody has a pet peeve.
Everyone has an agenda. Everyone has an opinion and everyone has the need to be heard. At the same time, everybody assumes their way is the right way.
Stream of Consciousness: I Am –
How amazing it is to think and read or to learn about a person so inspiring and that because of them, we chose to do or we chose to dare. It is amazing to me that we have the ability to affect and inspire. We can spark desire or act as the catalyst of change. I am in awe of you.
Literally in awe.
Whereas, time has proven to me again and again that come one come all, the stage is set. Life is happening before our eyes and yet, some people live, other people watch and some die alive and some people simply wither away.
But not you.
Unbreakable
In the end, there is really only one question. There’s only one idea that comes with life. And this comes down to a decision. The question is what do you want? The idea is what do you have to do to make this so? The questions are actually simple. The answers are simple as well.
The truth is we all have a goal. We have dreams and ideas yet another truth is there are times when life doesn’t agree. There are times when life does not support our dreams. There are times when we find ourselves, running through the mazes on a daily basis. We get lost or misdirected. We find ourselves turned around and we lose our sense of direction. We lose our way. Life can be like this.
And we wonder, “Is this a test?” Am I suppose to be learning from this?
There are times when our faith is questioned. Our resolve is pushed to the limit. People test us. Life tests us and we find ourselves lost in a pit of frustrations.
Time To Go
I don’t know if it’s the same for kids today. Is it?
Do they want to be firefighters or astronauts anymore? I suppose my question is do they pretend the way we used to?
It is currently snowing in my part of the hemisphere. As I write this to you, the sky is in the early stages of daybreak. There are large snowflakes falling on the ground. The snow is not heavy by any means. However, the accumulation is only enough to cover the ground. There’s a a trace of white that has perched on the limbs of trees. The evergreens are the only semblance of color. Otherwise, there is a certain grayness to the day, which is almost black and white.
Play a Song for Me
We used to have to work for things. And I know this gets old. I know this is no different from when I was a kid and my Old Man would say things that began with, “When I was your age,” but either way, it’s true.
We used to have to work for things.
Nothing was this easy. If a song came out or if a band came out with an album, we had to save for this. We had to wait for this. I remember saving up for a tape and walking across town to a record store. Now, when I say tape; the younger generation might be lost. They wouldn’t know what a cassette tape is.
The Written Addiction 