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The Art of Not Quitting

There was a time when I was on a basketball team. Perhaps you might remember this. I know I’ve told you about this before so I will spare some of the details and stick to the point.

I was the little skinny kid that could hardly reach the basket when I took a shot remember? I was smaller than everyone. I was uncoordinated and uncomfortable at my best. I was also different in ways that made this team difficult for me. I was a stranger to the other kids on the team. Or, maybe the other kids were strangers to me. Either way, they all knew each other but they didn’t know me. They were all friends and me, I was this little skinny kid that rode the bench and went to a different school.

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Social Biases

I am a firm believer that we are more than meets the eye. I believe we are more than one person.
There is who we see ourselves as and who we try to be. Then there is us. This is the true us. This is where we decide our favorite color. This is where we store our favorite memories. This is where we find our love for music and our favorite songs and we enjoy them regardless to what the rest of the crowd might say.

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Sessions From The Balcony: Scenes From a Snowy window

 Snow falls and the town is quiet. It is nighttime and yet the fields are covered in a white blanket, which softens the appeal of the late night hours that come after midnight. The snowy grounds warmly illuminate a dull gray, which is nice to see because this reminds me the snowfall is not a threat, but instead, a reminder to stay in and be warm.

The streets are unused at this hour, which is good, which is why I never minded the idea of living in a small town. I like the quiet now. Perhaps this matches my age. Perhaps this is a sign of maturity. Or, maybe I’ve just outgrown the noise and hustle of New York City.
On nights like this in the mountains, everyone is cuddled in their homes, safe and warm, family is with family, and the entire world around me is hushed to a soft lullaby. I like that.

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Operation Depression: My Just For Today Idea

I am thinking about the words that are said by a referee before the start of a boxing match. This is when they say, “Protect yourself at all times.”
Once the bell rings, the two fighters come out fighting. They have trained to do this.
They have trained to do both; protect themselves at all times and yet, at the same time, they have trained to protect themselves while imposing their way upon their opponent.

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Insomnia Prose

Someday they say things will all make sense. Someday the reasons why things happen and why they don’t will become clear. At least, i’m told this will be so. There’s a reason for everything, or, so they say.

I sit like most people, wondering, and thinking too much, too often. I’m a deep thinker, which can make sleep difficult. I have a thousand questions or maybe more.  I have a thousand ideas and counting. I think about about life on life’s terms. I think about man’s inhumanity to man and sometimes the inhumanity we cast upon ourselves.

In times like this, I am reminded about the old message that used to come across our television back when I was a kid. This happened whenever the television station lost reception. I believe this was due to atmospheric problems or conditions. A message came across the screen that was followed by a well-spoken voice which explained, “Due to circumstances beyond our control, we are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.”

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The People We Pass

There are several times in my life that I met new people. We went through something together. Whatever it was and wherever that something might have been, whether it was a class or just an intense part of life; whether this was during a time of great healing or even back in the days of my treatment, there were people I knew that I swore I would always know forever.

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909 Words About Change

I am thinking now of a time, sitting on an airplane, heading from one side of our country to another. I am reclining back to a comfortable flat position. The stewardess had just kindly offered me a hot towel, which I accepted of course, with thanks.
There is a musician nearby, sitting with some of his entourage, and flying back from his hometown in Jersey. He explained that he was heading back to the West-coast life, which he built for himself with his talent and a guitar. I said nothing to him though—although, admittedly I was an excited fan, I was also here to accompany someone to their previous life with help to create a new one.  

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When The Time Comes

You will know when the time comes. you will know when it is time to move on or when to get out or move away. You might not want to know. you might not want to move. Even if you do want to move, sometime, we just don’t understand how to let go.
Either way, you will know when the time comes. We can lie to us all the time but either way, we still know.
Everything will be right there to see. All the facts and all the reasons why will be right there.

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Explaining Anxiety

They say that adrenaline can release great strength. They say that when we go into emergency survival mode, we can move what would otherwise be unmovable.
I can say I remember when I was a kid and I was playing around with my brother’s weights in the basement. Somehow, the bench fell on me in a way that would be too hard to explain in words. I was trying to crawl through the weight bench and then the entire bench flipped on me.
However, how and why is less important. More important is what happened.
The crash was heard upstairs. Mom shouted down the basement steps asking if I was okay. I answered no.

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