The day nearly passed and little did I know this would be my last time in any sort of public school system. I sat there wide-eyed and bloodshot with my pupils enlarged like black holes. I was red-faced and high with a detached smile. I recall listening to the bizarre sounds of a self-induced schizophrenia. It had been a few hours since I placed a few tabs in my mouth. This was Blotter, otherwise known as Continue reading
A Rant: Bullies, Boys, Girls, and Crowds
I know where it all started but I never understood why or how things change so quick and drastically. We all started out as kids in a play pen. We were all friends once. There was no judgement. There was no separation or divisions of cool. We were just kids, nothing more, nothing less, and then one day we learned about status. We learned about popularity and somehow Continue reading
Just Some Notes
I think back about the days when my little girl was still little. She would try to do something and say, “I can’t do it.” It used to be that she couldn’t tie her own shoelaces. But then she learned how. Then she couldn’t climb across the monkey bars on the playground. I told her, “Just try it. If you Continue reading
Relapse and Junkie Stories
1)
There is a beautiful nature and meaning behind the words, “True friends.” No matter how far back the paths go, no matter how far apart we are, no matter how long ago we spoke and no matter what concept or direction in life we choose; there are no friends like old friends.
Billy was an old Continue reading
Real Fiction: Another Bad Dream
Winter, Downtown New York City, 1989
Eric sat in a small rundown apartment with a fallen light bulb dangling from two wires in the middle of the ceiling and hanging over a cluttered coffee table filled with old crumpled paper bags, an overflowing ashtray with mashed cigarettes, empty beer bottles, empty Continue reading
Penicillin And All That Jazz . . .
I was telling you about one of my theories the other day. I have a new one now. I call this one my Penicillin Theory. It came to me when I was looking at one of my pill bottles in the medicine cabinet last night.
The pills inside are pink and somewhat large. The doctor’s name is irrelevant and so is much of the information on the label itself. The only thing important here is the medication, which in this case is Amoxicillin, and the directions, were that I take this medication two times per day for ten days or until the medication was finished. Did I follow these directions?
Well, kinda . . .
I was sick as a dog the other week. I hadn’t been sick like this in a long time. Moreover, I haven’t had strep throat in more than a decade. My throat was soar. My body was achy. I had a fever and while Continue reading
One Of My Theories . . .
Dudley Moore once said, “I never learned anything from anyone that totally agreed with me all the time. . .”
I learned about this quote the other day while studying different motivational interviewing skills. I started thinking about my path and whether I was open or closed minded. Well, this is what I came up with
We are all taught Continue reading
Letters From a Son
A lot happened since my last letter to you. In fact, so much has happened in a short amount of time, I’m not even sure where to begin. I don’t even know how to describe it and fit it all in one note.
I’m learning more and more that there are things I cannot say any longer. Each day, I learn more about the meaning behind the words we use and how we seem to forget that everything we say has meaning. No matter how loosely we use a word or how we choose to use our them; Continue reading
About My Plan
I have been thinking a lot about the plans I’ve been working on for the last few months. I was thinking about us and the way we were as kids. I was thinking about the help we had and the help we never received. Then I started to wonder if anyone cares anymore, —and what I mean is I mean I wonder if anyone cares enough to open their eyes to see more than what appears to be the surface level or the obvious. What I mean by that is I wonder if anyone cares enough to try a different way, —to look a bit deeper than before and step away from the Continue reading
It’s hardest when . .
It’s hardest when they are young and they see themselves a grown up, living a full-grown adult’s life, thinking they know everything, and believing this without any doubt; meanwhile, the truth is they have only been speaking in full complete sentences for a little more than a decade. Meanwhile, less than a decade ago, they watched cartoons (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and they believed in things like The Easter Bunny, Santa, and the tooth fairy. They know it all; meanwhile, they don’t see what we see. No, they see through the eyes of self-preservation.
It’s hardest when trying to work Continue reading
