I walked inside the main doorways to an upstate facility after a long car ride. I was still sweating out the demons of my last ride, so to speak. I was in a fog or, should I say was making my reentry from my last trip out of the atmosphere. As I was coming down from my high, time moved like a stop action film, one caption after another, and the trip I was on was destined to lead me to someplace I didn’t want to go.Continue reading
I think the beginning of my personal change was the hardest for me. I think the beginning of any change is uncomfortable. Then again, much of my difficulty was a reflection of me.
I was told that if I wanted to build my self-esteem then I’d have to do esteemable acts. To be very clear and with all the honesty I have in my heart, I absolutely hated the one-line helpful statements like this.
I couldn’t stand them.
I am writing to you with hopes that this will follow you throughout your life. I hope this helps and if it does, I want you to take this thought with you no matter where you go.
I am also writing this with hopes that this follows you beyond all the apologies and all the attention to the moment at hand.
Also, I am writing this to you as a Dad and as a friend, as a person that looks around and wonders why life happens the way it does, and as someone that understands how the things we see will follow us around for the rest of our life
I swear sometimes it seems like everything is uphill.
Nothing comes easy. And even the good ideas come with some problems, which makes it uncomfortable to get your hopes up.
But you do.
This still happens, inevitably, of course and you become cautiously optimistic until the flavor hits your tongue and then you can taste it —then you get your hopes up.
Only, you’re afraid, which makes it hard to dream because the dream itself is perfect. All dreams are perfect, else they would call them something else, like nightmares, for example.
Along the way, you certainly realize that life is a relative thing. Along the way, we learn as we go along. We grow and we live. We have different exposures and different experiences, and, as well, we have different viewpoints that come from our basic circle of influence. Not everything is the same to you and me, which is fine if you ask me. I think they call this diversity.Continue reading
There is a trace of snow on the ground. It’s not much but there is enough snow to blanket the ground.
I am awake (obviously) and up much earlier than most people are, which is not unusual for me. I have come here, to the window in my loft and sit for the moment before the daybreak occurs. I have armed myself with a cup of coffee to enjoy this moment of silence. I have come here to share a minute with you before the day takes off. The snowfall is enough to illuminate the ground just before the sunrise. I can hear the heat coming up too, which clicks and clacks, and helps me to fit the mood.
The scene is pretty enough to match the sentiment of where we are, now, and trying to find the answer to the inevitable question, which is, “Where do we go from here?”
Everything we do or see throughout our life has had an impact on the way we think, the way we feel, and the way we act or respond.
There is an internal voice within us all, which we talk to and interact with. This is the internal narrative, which in many cases is the voice of something unresolved in our memory.
This is the whisper in our thoughts that creates doubt and concern. This is the idea that causes us to be overly cautious and overly protective of us to the point that we shut ourselves down or cut ourselves off from the chance of a new understanding.