So you say you want peace, is that right?
If so, then I have a question.
What does this mean?
I ask because maybe peace is not the same to me as it is to you.

What does peace look like?
What does peace feel like?

I am convinced of one thing.
The mind is the greatest obstacle. I know this. 
I know this because I have lost before I started and I have quit before I’ve tried.
I am not the only one who has lost this way.
Not at all, but at the moment, I am the only one here and you are the only one with me.
Or, so I hope.

I’ve lost to a belief system and old or outdated thinking errors that cause me to believe in failure or lead me to the disbelief that I can advance and surpass my own limitations. 

I took an early drive this morning to clear my head. Then again my head was heavy and my sinuses were not too kind to me. So, I was up early.
I was on the road but the rain came suddenly and fell so hard that the rainfall interrupted my attempt to make a conscious contact with God as I understand him.
Sure.
I pray.
Why not?
What’s the harm?
If anything, I see prayer as an action, or more, I see this as a method which helps my awareness because even if no one is out there and there is no God to care or listen, what’s the harm in voicing my needs and claiming my humility to gain a better life?

I admit it.
Yes.
My mind is always going. I am always rethinking, always calculating, always trying to decipher between safe and alert and tired and danger at the same time.
Ah, the benefits of overthinking.
This is exhausting, to say the least.
I am talking about my own overexcitability that keeps me going at a speed that y body cannot contend with.
No one is meant to run at full throttle all the time. And no one can keep up with a pace like this.
And even when I want to pause or stop or rest or do something, like, sleep through the night without waking up, the mind is always going off on tangents and worrying about the incoming missiles which are invisible and coming from from enemies that do not exist.

There is something to be said about catastrophic thinking and how these leads us astray.

This is to you folks.
This is to you, the moms, the dads, the married and to the divorced and all the in-between people in this world.
And this is to you too.
Absolutely, this is to you!
This is to the kids, the sons and daughters, adopted, step, and to the biological and the otherwise.
This is to the brothers and sisters or the people who are connected by the fabric of this thing which we call family.
This is also to you, the mismatched lovers who wish for more or wish they were elsewhere.
Find your way.
Make is so and above all else . . .
Do not waste another day!

I am famous for saying how today is just another day above the dirt.
And it is.
And that’s all this is for most of us. Today is just another day above the dirt.
This is always so for those of us who are alive and breathing and living to the best of our ability.
I have often told some of loved ones that today is a day closer to something. And I might not know what that “something” is and I might not get what I want.
But I know that I am a day closer to finding out.

In the meantime –

I think that before anything moves forward, you and I have to agree on a certain level of honesty.
Or, in this case, the one who needs to be honest here is me.
Besides, who else is here but us and as far as I can tell, you are as real as can be and at the same time, there really is no one else here but me.
If that makes sense.

Did I ever tell you how much I hated the scale?

Here it is, world. I am here.
Send me, I say to which I know. I say this out loud and to an empty room but to hell with it all!
At least I say this for myself. At least I say this here and now because if not now, then when?

Right?

I am told let the chips fall where they may is an old term that came from lumberjacks.
I did a little reasearch on this and for the record, I do not want to act like I knew about this beforehand.
I only knew about the saying because I heard someone say, “Let the chips fall where they may!”